Song of the Night n' Dale

Episode written by Tad Stones

Summary by Paul Fawcett


Scene: The park. We crane up the Ranger tree and start zooming in on the top section. Soon we cut to the landing strip, where the Rangers (except Dale) are working on an aircraft whose fuselage is made from a flashlight. Gadget is in the cockpit, while Chip is in the rear.

"Gadget's gone too far this time, Chip," complains Monty, holding a AA battery. "She's got these blinkin' propellers facin' the wrong way." He hands Chip a battery.

"She's knows what she's doing, Monterey." replies Chip, receiving it and placing it with two others in the back end of the craft. "I'm sure the Ranger Wing is perfectly safe."

A reassuring phrase comes from the cockpit: "Oh, darn." Cut to Gadget, who is holding some miscellaneous parts and scratching her head. "I'm always ending up with parts left over." She tosses them aside.

Monty leans over to Chip and puts his hand up by his mouth to shield his sarcastic words from Gadget. "Yeah, about as safe as a joyride on the Titanic."

Cut to Zipper, who is standing by a propeller. Gadget calls back: "Are you sure power is getting through those connectors?" Zipper nods confidently. He touches the propeller, with shocking results. Zipper falls to the wing of the Wing, smoke rising from him. "Looks like it to me," confirms Chip.

We hear a door crashing against the wall. From the doorway emerges Dale, wearing a horned metal helmet, shades, and a yellow scarf and carrying a riding crop. Gadget (now on the tarmac) and Monty snicker silently at him as he passes, but Chip is not amused. Dale climbs up on the right wing (the riding crop having been transferred to his left paw), tosses the end of his scarf over his shoulder, and hops into the pilot's seat. Chip walks over to him on the other wing.

"What do you think you're doing in the pilot's seat?" he asks. Gadget climbs up the right wing. "That's okay." She hops into the front passenger seat. "I told Dale I wanted everyone to know how to pilot the Ranger Wing." Dale blows a raspberry at Chip as Monty climbs up the other side. Both get in.

Gadget continues. "The controls are really simple." "Simple controls for a simple mind," quips Chip. Dale takes it in stride. "Aw, you're just bein' jealous 'cause you don't have a scarf," remarks Dale, tossing the scarf's end back over his shoulder.

Monty chuckles nervously. Between Gadget's sometimes-careless engineering and Dale's piloting, it's clear he wants out. "I-I-I was just thinkin', uh, it's a shame no one's savin' this moment in pictures. I'll just pop down to the camera store to--"

But it is too late: Dale has found the control that makes it go. It jets off, Monty yelling in surprise. It flies in a single circle before taking off.

"Wowie! This is great!" exclaims Dale. "How d'ya make it go up 'n' down?" Some loud and unsettling knocking is heard, elicting screaming from Chip and more from Monty as the Wing drops a bit and comes back up. "Never mind, I found it," says Dale.

Chip forcefully leans forward in his seat. "Are you cuh-razy?!?" As if to answer his question, the Wing flies through an open window and out the other side. "Why do I even ask?" laments Chip, as Monty removes a sock from his head.

Dale grabs a lever. "What's this?" he asks. "That's the hover switch." replies Gadget, writing on her clipboard. "It should turn the Ranger Wing into a helicopter." At the magic word, Chip and Monty's scleras briefly gain concentric circles. They turn to each other. "SHOULD?!?" they simultaneously exclaim.

The Wing ceases forward motion, and the propeller blades turn upward. The Wing ascends high into the sky. "Gosh, I've never been up this high," notes Dale with wonder. "Pally, I know birds who've never been up this high."

"Wow, look at those clouds!" exclaims Dale. "Better stay away from them, Dale," warns Gadget. "The updrafts can be very tricky." "Aw, I can handle a little draft." The question of whether or not he can handle a big draft comes up rather quickly, as the Wing is quickly blown away. Dale's scarf, shades, and hat fall from the Wing.

"Take 'er down, pally!" yells Monty. "I left me stomach back on the ground floor!" Monty supresses the escape of his last meal or so. "I'm not doing anything," replies Dale.

"We must be caught in the jet stream!" deduces Gadget. "What's that?" Dale asks before she finishes. "Do ya hafta ask?" Monty queries, annoyed.

"Hang on, mates!" he yells. A human commercial jetliner narrowly misses them; however, the air currents it creates throw the Ranger Wing out of control. The engines sputter, and it goes into a tailspin.

Gadget frantically attempts to correct the situation. "You don't mind if I do the piloting, do you, Dale?" asks Gadget. The Wing eventually levels out.

Chip checks the others. "Is everyone all right?"

Monty has his eyes covered, but he uncovers them. "I'll let ya know when me noggin stops spinnin'."

"Actually, the jet stream is a high-speed wind current in the upper atmosphere." Gadget explains. "A very cold wind current," remarks Chip.

Gadget looks out the side. "Golly! Where are we?" "Looks like the Himalayas," guesses Monty as they approach a cold-looking mountain. "Crikey! This jet stream carried us halfway around the world." All cheer.

Their cheer is short-lived, however, as a cold wind blows snow at them. "I thought we were out of the jet stream," remarks Monty. "We are," confirms Gadget. "This is just a blizzard." "Oh, lucky us," says Monty.

Dale suddenly points. "Lookit, there's a bird out there!" "Oh, great, now he's seeing things," Chip presumes. Monty, however, spots it, as well. "No, Dale's right! Look over there."

And there he is: a blue bird in a blue hat and shirt, flying futilely in blizzard conditions.

"He'll freeze if we don't get him!" Gadget calls. "Hurry up with that net, Dale!" urges Chip. "All set!" Dale replies, and fires off the net, catching the bird in one go. "Good shot, mates," remarks Monty. "Now we just need a place to land. Preferably someplace warm."

Suddenly, the place seems brighter. "Golly!" exclaims Gadget. "It doesn't look like that's gonna be a problem."

Indeed, a lush valley is spread before them, a flowing stream winding through its midst and a city near the stream.

(We don't see them land, but they must have done so.)

"These hot springs must be what keeps the valley warm," Chip surmises. "Just like a steam radiator," Gadget chimes in as they look over the spring. Monty laughs. "Yeah, 'cept you don't have to bang on the pipes to get more heat."

He and Dale watch over the bird, who is wrapped in an appropriately-sized towel and has his feet in the spring. Zipper flies over with a cup containing a hot beverage. "Just the thing to warm up our bluebird." As he drinks the beverage, however, his feathers change to red! "He's not blue anymore," Dale observes.

"Why did you save me?" the red bird asks. "Huh?!?" Dale says, surprised, and shaking his head. "We're the Rescue Rangers," Chip replies, standing at attention, then at rest. "It's our job."

The bird looks at his beverage. "I am Chirp Sing, former pet to the Emperor Dim Sun."

Gadget comes over and stands by Chip. "How did you get stuck in that blizzard?" The cup is now lying on its side, off to Chirp's side. "I was trying to leave the valley," replies Chirp, cheeks in wings. "Leave? Why?" Monty asks, surprised. "This seems like as close to paradise as you can get... outside of a cheese factory." "I have brought shame to my family." replies Chirp, holding his wings together. "I am cursed," he continues, spreading them apart, "and have given the Emperor a... a... sickness of the mind."

"I saw them!" a voice says urgently. Chirp gasps. "It is the Emperor Dim Sun!" he says. "I am not imagining it!" urges the Emperor. Chirp flies onto a roof of one of the buildings, and the Rangers meet him there. The Emperor continues. "They wait until the night, then fly out to cause a horrible mess!" We now see that the Emperor is followed by three men. They cross a bridge on one of the paths. "But what, my lord?" one of the men asks. "What hides in the imperial closets?" "Was it the spirit warriors again?" asks another. The emperor turns. "No, the dragons, you foolish fish!" he replies, gesturing toward his house and making chopping motions. "They tore my entire bed in two!" "But, Emperor, your bed chamber was undisturbed," the short man replies. "And your bed was in a single piece," the medium-heighted one continues. "And, remember? You were under it," finishes the tallest of the three. This appears to be news to the Emperor. "I was?" he asks, fearfully. "Uh, well, those fiendish devils must have sewn it up again! Goodness, but they are most tricky."

"You see? He is not in his right mind," Chirp continues. "Dragons? Spirit warriors?" exclaims Chip. He turns to Dale. "I guess you're not the only crazy one in the valley." You know, because they've never ever encountered mythological beings or the supernatural before-- *cough*dalebesidehimself*cough* *cough*aladinalamp*cough* *cough*ghostofachance*cough* *cough*throwmummyfromthetrain*cough* *cough*seernoevil*cough* *cough*thelastleprechaun*cough* Ahem. Silly coughing spells. Anyway.

The short one continues. "But, Most Wise One, how can--" "How can a flock of most loyal ministers peck at our leader with such annoying questions?" a rather taller woman asks, walking behind them. The ministers bow.

"Ah, Sister," Dim Sun greets her happily. "I was just telling them--" "I have heard," she cuts him off, and comes up to him, adjusting his hat. "I have taken the liberty of having your closets nailed shut."

"That is Su Lin, the Emperor's sister," Chirp points out. "She cares for him very much."

She takes off his hat and kisses him on top of his head before putting his hat back. "Little brother, you work too hard in the service of the valley. It is time to get some rest." "Yes, that would be good," agrees Dim Sun. "You are sure the closets are nailed tight?" "Quite sure," replies Su Lin, pausing in her exit. "No doubt the dragons have made a shambles of my argyle sweaters," Dim Sun presumes, taking his leave of the ministers, who call after Su Lin. "But, Su Lin, there are affairs of state that our Emperor must attend to!" the tall one says. Su Lin turns. "My brother is in no condition to be deciding such matters," she says, and sighs. "Perhaps he can look at them later."

"Come, I must see him again," Chirp says, and flies off.

Dissolve to the Emperor's bedchamber.

"Wow, this place looks like a toy store!" exclaims Dale, jumping down to the table from the windowsill. Monty follows. "They are all presents to the Emperor from Su Lin," Chirp explains. "This one looks a mite like you, Chirp Sing," Monty says, leaning on the golden base of a silver tree with a golden mechanical bird perched on its bent top. Chirp sighs. "It is my... replacement." "Replacement?!" Gadget says, shocked. She puts a paw on his back. "Why would they replace you with a toy?" "Su Lin thinks I was sent by evil spirits to... drive the Emperor mad," replies Chirp. "What?!" says Chip.

"Hey, look at me! I'm a warrior!" says Dale. Indeed, he is wearing a samurai's helmet and bearing a spear from one of the two miniature warriors nearby. "Any dragons show up around here and I'll skewer 'em!"

Zipper scolds him squeakily, and flies over to a lever, depressing it. The other warrior toy strikes Dale on top of the helmet, knocking him away. Dale removes his helmet and tosses it behind him. "Oh, it moves!" he exclaims, dashing over to it and sparring. "En garde!" He whoops as he attacks.

"Golly!" exclaims Gadget. "Su Lin has extraordinary talent for mechanical things," explains Chirp.

"Gotcha!" says Dale, stabbing the warrior. He is squirted with oil for his troubles. The other warrior comes up behind him and bonks him on the head, sending him into a nearby gong, and out on his back. The gong retains his facial features. "I always said Dale makes quite an impression," quips Monty, walking up to the gong.

"You're lucky you only hit your head," says Gadget, kneeling on one knee and putting a concerned hand on his shoulder. She produces a rag. "Here, let me wipe that oil off."

"Can't you be serious for once?" Chip scolds. "Aw, you just don't know to have fun anymore," Dale retorts, holding his head. "Oh, yeah?" "Yeah!" replies Dale, zipping over to Chip. "You don't have any imagination." "It's just that I know what's real and what's not!" explains Chip. "I do too!" That's right, the lines were transposed. Transposed on the script, or just in reading? The world may never know. At any rate, that's what the animation was synched to.

"Any dragons in there had better run and hide!" the Emperor says from outside. "I have brought a great and fierce warrior with me!" The door opens, the Emperor clears his throat a bit, and the "fierce warrior" is stuck through the opening. "Yes, I love to chop dragons into the littlest of bits." Upon closer inspection, the warrior is two poles lashed together in a cross, then dressed and given a mask and sword. The Emperor himself can be seen holding the pole. "I am going to stay with the Emperor all night long," we see the Emperor say. "while I sharpen my sword."

"Boy, he's crazier than Dale," Chip remarks. "He is not -- I mean, we're not crazy!" Dale states.

"And don't touch my argyle sweaters," warns the Emperor.

"Well... at least... I'm not," Dale backpedals. "I must go to him," Chirp says, and flies to the Emperor. At first, this seems only to reinforce his status as exile. "What? Get back! Get away!" the Emperor yells, thinking he's under attack. But once he positively identifies the bird, he seems pleased. "It's Chirp Sing, my little nightingale!" he says, putting up a finger for Chirp to light upon, and laughs a bit. "I have missed you so. Do you have a song for me?" He does, and clears his throat. But the song Sing would have sung is cut short by Su saying, "What?" She gasps, and comes in. "It's that bird! Get away! Get away, you evil thing!" Dim Sun attempts to hold her back. "No! Stop!" he yells. Chirp does a fright take and dodges thrown objects. He flies over to the Rangers. "I cannot stay," he explains. "I must fly!" "Don't worry," reassures Chip. "we'll watch the Emperor for you." "Get out!" Su Lin yells as Chirp flies out a window, evading more thrown objects.

"Aw, it was only Chirp Sing," Dim Sun pleads, standing by the bed. "He was trying to cheer me up with a song." Su Lin runs over. "It is an evil spirit sent by your enemies to give you bad dreams!" she says, placing him on the bed. "Did not your visions start when that bird started visiting?" she "asks", picking up her metallic replica and bringing it over. "Ehwell, not exactly--" Dim Sun attempts to reply. "And has not your sister crafted a new nightingale for you? Do you not like it?" she asks, making a face that indicates that he shouldn't say he does not. "Ah, it is exquisite, but--" Su Lin turns on the bird, and it begins to whistle waveringly. "Then let its song sing you to sleep." She kisses his forehead. "Good night, Brother." He sighs. "Good night, Su Lin..." He puts his head back on the pillow and closes his eyes.

Later, we see that the Rangers have taken up positions on the base of the "tree", except for Gadget, who is under it, looking up, and Zipper, who's watching her. Heh, so I guess that's nearly half. Dale is wearing the samurai helmet again. "Well, it's past midnight," observes Chip. "No sign of dragons or anything else."

"These clockwork figures are fantastic!" exclaims Gadget. "I bet Su Lin has a workshop with everything I need to finish repairs on the Ranger Wing." She scoots out and sits up. Chip jumps down. "Well, let's check it out!" he says, and points up at the others. "Monterey Jack, you and Dale keep an eye on the Emperor for Chirp Sing. And try to keep Dale awake!" he says, as they run off. Dale makes a face and blows a raspberry at this last remark.

"'And try to stay awake,'" says Dale, mimicking Chip but mutating the quote. "Ha! I'll show him that I can take things seriously. Say, you think this thing can play any other tunes?" "Oi 'ope not," says Monty, not too thrilled with the gizmo. "Oi couldn't stand another chirp from that mechanical feather duster."

"Hey, this thing's still workin'," Dale notices, listening to it from next to the bird itself. Suddenly, the bird starts chirping again, but this time, it lets loose a gas from its mouth, causing Dale and Monty to cough. "What's goin' on?" asks Monty. But soon, the gas begins putting him to sleep. "Ohhh, now that you mention it, its song does have a sweet lilt to it." Dale is feeling the effects, as well, and he falls headfirst onto Monty (without the prongs of the samurai helmet piercing Monty's head or anything), and bounces off onto the nightstand. From there, he bounces over to a pillow, then to the Emperor's head, and finally, onto his chest.

The Emperor wakes up, coughing. "Oh," the Emperor laughs jovially. "What have I here? A little elf person! Ooh, elves are much nicer than dragons and warriors, heh heh." Dale staggers under the influence of the gas, and nods at the last statement. "Have you come to do tricks for me?"

Suddenly, the mattress rises into the air! "I'd call this a trick! Wonder how I did it," says Dale. The mattress then spins in midair! "Oh, little elf, heh heh heh," says the Emperor, "my tummy is not liking this..." "That makes three of us," says Dale. The mattress suddenly drops, and its occupants soon after.

"Oh, goodness, I am a growing boy, heh heh," the Emperor says, then realizes. "No, no, the room is shrinking!" He looks up at Dale. "Elf person, I am not ready to be made small!" The walls finally start to crush the bed, and they both close their eyes... but when they opens them, they see that the room is now... normal? "Ah, it is safe again." says the Emperor. "Please, no more tricks, heh heh. I must get some sleeeEEEEEP!"

The man-sized warrior statues around the bed seem to come to life and draw their swords! Eyes glowing, they raise their swords as Dale and the Emperor scream...

(Fade to black. This is where the commercials would go. Fade back in.)

Dale and the Emperor hide under the blankets, which is a smart move, because it ensures that you won't see your death coming. At any rate, the warriors slice away, but all miss. They lift the blanket with their swords and shred it in midair. "Monterey!" yells Dale and screams, running away from the bed and leaping up on Monty to awaken him. "Wake up, Monterey! We gotta save the Emperor!" Monty blubbers a bit and stands up. "Right! To the rescue!" As he jumps, however, he conks his noggin on the tree. "...roight after me nap." He falls back asleep. Dale gasps, then looks up. "Yikes!" he cries, and gets away. A slice from one of the warriors cuts the nightstand in two, and the part with Monty on it falls off! "It has been the nicest of times visiting with you fellows," the Emperor tells the warriors while holding Dale to his chest, "but I really... must be... sleeping?" The warriors begin spinning their blades at a high rate of speed. They start cutting the bed, forcing the Emperor and Dale to flee screaming!

Elsewhere, in Su Lin's workshop, we see a table with some shelving on one end, and a fat statue with a monitor built into its belly. Zipper approaches the shelves first, with Gadget and Chip following behind. "Wow, she's got every size gear I need!" Gadget says, clapping her paws together once, as if to punctuate the sentence. "I won't even have to modify anything. This stuff'll make the Ranger Wing work better than ever!" Chip investigates an unbodied hand that is standing on its fingertips, getting in the middle of the fingers. "Golly," she continues, walking over some buttons, "I haven't seen a left-shafted comp wrench in ages!" She steps backward onto a red button, and the hand closes, catching Chip.

"Hey!" he cries out. "Oh, my gosh!" says Gadget, finally noticing that she's walking on buttons, and stepping back onto the ones that don't depress under the weight of a trim little mouse. "Sorry, Chip. I'll have you out in a jiffy!" She presses a white button, and the hand closes tighter. "Or not." she continues. "Hold on, Chip!" She dashes over to the hand and attempts to pry the fingers off of the struggling Chip. "I don't have much choice," he remarks. Zipper flies over with an oil can. "Oh, no, thanks, Zipper. I'm not thirsty," she says. Zipper squeaks and points at the hand. "Oh, it's oil!" she realizes. "Great idea, Zipper!" There, see? She didn't know it was oil! :) She squirts Chip in the face a couple of times, and both struggle to pry the fingers apart. (I thought the point of oil was so that he could slip out? Oh well, whatever works.) The fingers fly apart (while remaining attached to the hand), and the hand falls flat-palmed, wires sparking.

"Jeepers, I thought Su Lin's inventions were just wind-up toys," Gadget says. "Well, just be careful," Chip tells her, keeping his own counsel by not looking in the direction he's walking. He climbs up into the statue's lap. The statue's screen is hidden now. Don't ask me, I'm just a transcriptionist. "We don't need any more surprises," he remarks, and promptly falls backwards through its belly, turning the panel around and exposing the screen again. A keyboard also emerges from below the monitor. "Golly, a computer!" Gadget points out, walking over. The screen displays a contour map of the valley, then changes to a view of the valley from the perspective of someone within it. The tallest building is left of center. "Hey, that's a picture of this valley," she continues. The picture disappears, and skyscrapers grow from the ground in its place. "Gee, I don't remember those buildings," she ponders. "They cover the whole valley." Chip climbs out the statue computer's mouth, and falls onto the keyboard, bouncing off. It retracts and the screen rotates back into hiding. Gadget steps back out of the way as Chip lands on the table, and starts up, when tapping is heard at the window glass.

It's Chirp! Zipper lets him in. "Hi, Chirp Sing!" Gadget greets him as he flies down. "I thought it was safe to return," he tells them, "but, but why are you not watching the Emperor?" "Don't worry, he's safe," Chip tells him. "Monterey Jack and Dale are with him."

Just then, the Emperor is heard screaming! He runs through the workshop, and Dale follows him, doing some screaming of his own. "Dale!" Tress -- erm, I mean, Chip and Gadget cry. They run to see what that was all about. Dale grabs Chip by his jacket frantically, then lets go. "Chip, there was guys with swords, an' I was an elf an' made the bed fly, an' then we started growin' but the room was shrinkin'!" Chip bonks him on the head. "Ouch!" says Dale. "What'd you do that for?" "What are you talking about? You're not making any sense." Chip tells him. " There's no point in talking to you. Where's Monterey Jack?" At this, Dale gasps. "He's still back in there!" Dale replies. "We've gotta save him!" He runs to the door, and the others follow. Dale takes the last few steps on tiptoe, and listens at the door. He tiptoes back to the others. "Be ready to run for cover in case the bed is flying around again," he warns them, tiptoeing back. "And be quiet. The sword guys might be waitin' for us." The door opens. It's Monty! "What sword guys?" he asks, causing Dale to jump straight up in surprise. Monty catches him. "Monty! You're all right!" Dale exclaims, hugging him. "Are all the sword guys gone?" He climbs onto Monty to see for himself. "Hey, what happened? Who cleaned everything up?" A pan across the room reveals it to be in normal condition. They enter the room.

"That was all cut up," explains Dale, pointing to the blanket, "and those things cut the bed in half!" He pounces Monty. "You saw it, Monterey! Tell them what happened!" he pleads. "Sorry, pally, when I woke up, you and Dim Sun were gone." Dale bolts upright (with a bell sound effect), pupils dilated. Steam shoots out his ears as a horn blows. He slumps over where he stands. "It's okay, Dale. Everything is all right," Chip says, patronizingly, walking over. Dale shakes it off. "But it's not all right!" Dale protests, frantically. He points left and right with opposite hands, then starts counting on his fingers. "I mean, this stuff's all right, but it shouldn't be all right, 'cause it wasn't--" "I understand, Dale," Chip continues. "Maybe things shouldn't be all right." Dale glares. "No, of course it should be all right!" Dale replies, jumping on Monty's belly in frustration. Dale is suddenly suspicious. "Saaaay, why are you being so nice to me?" He rushes over to Chip and wiggles his fingers over Chip's head. "How come you aren't calling me crazy?" "Nobody said you were crazy," Chip tells him. "You aren't crazy." "I am, too!" Dale replies, jumping. "Am too, am too, am too!" Then he realizes. "What am I saying?" Then he screams. The door is open.

"There were four of them!" the Emperor tells his ministers as he pushes them inside. The short minister carries a lantern, while the other two bear firearms. "They attacked right after the bed landed!" he continues.

A jewelry box opens a crack, and Chip, Gadget, and Monty peek out. A jar lid opens, and Dale and Chirp peek out. "You see? He saw them, too!" Dale tells the others.

The Emperor points to a statue. "And this one cut my nightshirt!" "But, Emperor, this is only a bedpost," the tall one says. "And the room seems in perfect order," the medium one continues. "But... but it was..." the Emperor begins to protest. "It is obvious that the Emperor's nightmare has upset him," Su Lin tells them, coming in. "E -- but I was awake!" Dim Sun protests, but Su Lin glares. "...wasn't I?" "I will have the royal physician mix a potion that will allow you to rest," Su Lin says, patting him on the back. "Yes, Sister," Dim Sun reluctantly agrees. "Perhaps that is best." He leaves. "Honored sirs," Su Lin tells the ministers. "I am afraid the Emperor can no longer perform his duties." The ministers gasp deeply. "Y-y-you mean, r-replace the Emperor?" the middle one asks. "B-b-but then who would--" "Of course, as his sister, I will assume the throne until he is well." Su Lin replies to the unfinished question, crying crocodile tears before showing a scheming look to us while the ministers can't see it. The ministers look at each other.

Chirp leaves the jar. "Su Lin was right," he says, sadly, landing on the lip of a vase. "I am cursed. I have brought madness to my Emperor, and now, to friend Dale, too." Dale jumps. "Me?!? But I'm not crazy!" He looks over the concerned faces of his friends. " I?"

(Fade to black. Hey, more commercials. Fade back in.)

Dale sits with an ice pack on his head and a mercury-in-glass thermometer in his mouth. Zipper picks up the end of a red scarf (not the yellow one that fell off) "Oh, Dale, it's all my fault," Chip laments. "I put too much pressure on you, and I was always calling you crazy!" Dale sits upright and takes the thermometer out of his mouth, accidentally whacking poor Zipper with it. "But I'm not crazy! Those sword guys really did move!" "Oh, poor Dale!" Chip continues.

"But he might be right, Chip!" Gadget chimes in. The chipmunks run over. "This is the same kind of oil that Su Lin uses in her inventions. I think this thing is able to move!" Gadget concludes, frowning at it and dusting her paws against each other. "You see! You see!" Dale jumps, the reulting bed movement knocking Chip down. "An' I do remember some sort of smoke comin' out of this thing," Monty recalls, looking at the "toy" bird. Zipper circles its head once and enters its mouth. He shortly exits and falls into Monty's paws, the effects visible on his face and eyes. He flies up, kisses Monty on the lips, and falls back into his paws. "Wow, after getting a whiff of that stuff, anyone would think those mechanical things were real!" Chip observes. Chirp flies down and Gadget walks over. Chip turns to Chirp and holds his shoulders. "The Emperor isn't crazy, Chirp Sing," he reports. "But somebody wants everyone to think he is," Dale adds.

Enter "somebody". "That potion will ensure you sleep soundly, Brother," Su Lin. The Rangers and Chirp leave the open part of the bed. Dim Sun yawns and sits where they were. "Thank you, Su Lin." She kisses him on the forehead and picks up the toy bird. "It has to be her!" Chip says, coming out from underneath the pillow. "Let's check it out!" The others also vacate the underside of the pillow and follow him.

Dissolve to an open door, which the Rangers and Chirp peek around.

"I've been looking at the plans," Su Lin tells someone over the phone, "and I'm sure we can squeeze in another dozen condominiums. Look, once I am Empress," she says, refilling her bird, "I can do anything I want! We'll make room by knocking down the palace," she continues, knocking down a model of the palace which is sitting on some brochures. "I won't need it!" She picks up the brochures and holds them to herself. "Once this deal is locked down, I'm Monte Carlo bound!" She holds up a little black sleeveless, legless, skirtless number with a bow on one hip.

"Golly!" Gadget exclaims. "She just wants to control the valley so she can sell it off!" "But its gonna be a mite hard provin' that," observes Monty. "No problem," Dale chimes in, "we'll just get her to confess!" "Confess?!" Chip boggles. "Are you cuh-razy?" "Yes, I'm crazy," Dale replies, with a look of impish glee. "Crazy like a fox!"

Diagonal wipe to Gadget holding a can of gold spray paint. The chipmunk are in warrior dress, swiped from the small mechanical warriors. Chirp stands between them. They close their eyes as Zipper depresses the spray can button. They are soon covered with gold paint. "Too bad we couldn't move the walls," remarks Monty, "but at least the bed's all set!" Dale chuckles. "Then let's give her a taste of her own medicine!"

Dissolve to Su Lin's room, at night. Su Lin is sleeping contentedly, clutching her brochures. Her bed rises, with her totally oblivious to it. The ears of a nearby dragon statue act as the controls for the hydraulic lift, with Dale manipulating them. The bed nearly reaches the ceiling. One of the samurai chipmunks, carrying her own medicine, walks up to her. Zipper gives her a spray of it, eliciting some coughs. She awakens, sitting up and throwing aside some brochures. "What is..." Suddenly, Chirp pecks her nose. "Ow! ...My nightingale?" It makes faces at her. "But you can't fly, only sing." She attempts to catch Chirp, but falls over the side, screaming, and landing with a thud. The bed lowers into place again, and Su Lin, unaware that it was elevated from beneath, climbs back in. Dale activates the controls again, and the bed elevates again, hitting against the ceiling a few times before lowering into place again. "Huh? What?" she says, puzzled. Chip the warrior is pacing in front of a window. He winks at her. "You can't walk," she tells it, "I made you." A screen is wheeled into place, and Dale moves in with a spear. A solid poke with the pointy end in Su Lin's end can be assumed, as she is propelled to the ceiling with a "YOW!" The screen falls down. She falls back down, bits of ceiling coming with her... not to mention the obligatory comedic last bit of ceiling falling on her head. Nearby, the warriors shake paws. She sees what she thinks is her warriors shaking hands, gets angry, and pulls a firearm out from under her pillow. (That must be one good pillow, if she has a taste for luxury.) She aims it at them. They do a take and run off. She fires at where they were. She looks at the spot, then after the chipmunk warriors.

Meanwhile, the soundly-sleeping Emperor is being hoisted up to bed by Monty, using the Ranger Wing as a platform. "Snug as a bug," he reports. "All right, Chirp Sing," he signals. He and Zipper tuck the Emperor in.

Su Lin runs in. "Where are you? Show yourself." She then notices the window. There are fish swimming outside, making it appear that the room is underwater, and she gasps. We zoom in with a twist. Outside, it is apparent that the Rangers have taken a page from the Goofy Gophers' book and placed an aquarium outside of it.

Su Lin, under the influence of her own medicine, is fooled by the setup, and runs shrieking through the wall. "Dim Sun, you must--" She gasps, for it is here that she notices that the room she is in appears to be upside down, even to her brother sleeping in the bed on the ceiling. We turn upside down to see what Su Lin must think the orientation of the room is. She leaps to a ceiling lamp. "This is all a trick," she deduces, and leaps to a bedpost. She climbs onto bed (somehow not pulling the covers off or falling off herself) and looks over her brother. "This is merely a mannequin," she says, knocking on Dim Sun's forehead a few times, awakening him. "Ohhh! Hello, Su Lin!" he greets her. Not particularly welcome words at this time, for she looks shocked at him and falls to the "ceiling", taking the blanket with her. It is here that a basin of water has been set up, and she shrieks at having gotten wet. She jumps out and runs out, the blanket still on her face. Her running rolls the basin away.

As it turns out, she has run into the ministers. "What is all this nonsense?" the Emperor asks, and unbuckles himself from bed. He promptly falls to the floor and gasps. "Oh no, it is happening again!" he exclaims. The ministers come over. "Emperor, let us help you." The tall one says, doing so. "Are you all right?" the short one asks. The Emperor shakes his head, sweating. "You see this, too?" he asks.

The Rangers and Chirp stand observing... that is, except for the chipmunks when they start dancing around.

"Yes, Emperor," the middle-sized minister confirms. "It is some sort of cruel trick!" "Thank you, thank you," Su Lin says, picking up and hugging the short one, relieved that she's not going bananas and that her deduction was correct. "It is a trick! Thank goodness!" She hugs the middle-sized minister with her free arm. "Much better than my tricks." "What do you mean, your tricks?" the tall minister questions her. "I only used my inventions to make Dim Sun think he was crazy. This is much..." she begins, but suddenly realizes what she is saying. She lets go of the ministers. "I mean... uh... I..." "So, my own sister, huh?" The Emperor says. "Tried to drive me away from my throne!" Tears start to come from Emperor Dim Sun's eyes. "Ministers, take her away!" They do so. "But it was only a... a joke. That's it, a joke." Chirp Sing sees that his Emperor has been saddened by his sister's actions, and flies down. The Emperor brightens at recognizing his nightingale friend, and holds up a finger, which Chirp lands on and gets pets.

Outside, the Ranger Wing hovers. "Great plan, Dale!" Chip affirms. The two chipmunks are still in the warrior armor, but are not still painted gold. "Sorry we thought you were crazy." "No, we're the ones who are crazy," Gadget chimes in. "!" She hugs him briefly. The Wing flies off, and Chirp and the Emperor wave goodbye to their new friends.


Rescue Rangers and all characters and episodes copyright the Walt Disney Corporation and used without permission.

Special thanks to the subtitlers of the Chip 'n' Dale Rescue Rangers DVDs, and to ksharbaugh for identifying the riding crop.

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