Episode written by Julia Roberts
Summarized by David Junker
Our episode opens with a shot of a cliff next to the ocean. Waves are crashing against the rocks and a large, mean-looking squid is pulling himself over the rocks and up the side of the cliff. The camera pans up to show that Dale and Zipper are tied together back-to-back with seaweed (wonder how that came about?). Dale, who only has seaweed around his torso and arms, is standing and looking down at the squid nervously.
"He's getting closer!" Dale howls in panic.
At the top of the cliff, there are Chip, Gadget and Monty. None of them are in their usual attire. Chip is wearing shorts and his fedora (he's wearing pants for the first time!). Monty is wearing shorts and a red and white striped tank top. He isn't wearing his cap and we see a patch of neatly combed red hair on his head. Gadget is wearing yellow shorts and a short yellow shirt that would have shown off her belly button if she had one! She still has her goggles resting on top of her head, though. They are all looking down at Dale and Zipper, quite nervous as well.
"Hang on, mates!" Monty calls down. "We'll give that squid the slip!" He pauses and looks at Chip and Gadget. "Just as soon as we figure out how!" he says to them, not loud enough for Dale and Zipper to hear.
"Well, we could use that beach blanket as a rope!" Gadget says, pointing at all the beach party items behind them--apparently they (or some humans) had come to that spot for some fun in the sun.
"Good idea! Hang on!" Monty says as he rushes over, grabs the beach blanket and runs around a palm tree. Chip and Gadget grab the other end. Apparently. Monty is going to lower himself down to get Dale and Zipper and he wants Chip and Gadget to hold on--but could Chip and Gadget pull the other three up?!
The squid is getting closera fact Dale emphasizes by howling "HURRY!"
"Geronimo!" Monty yells, getting a firm grip on the blanket and jumping over the cliff.
Chip and Gadget are holding on but Monty's weight is pulling them toward the palm tree, slowly but steadily. Gadget sees a tube of suntan lotion and gets an idea...
She lets go of the blanket and picks up the tube. "This suntan lotion would be a neat anti-" Her scientific analysis is cut short as, without Gadget holding on, Monty's weight sends Chip hurtling through the air and around the tree. He snags Gadget, unintentionally of course, as he goes around the tree and the two of them are sent hurtling over the cliff edge.
Now, all five Rangers are on the small ledge and the beach blanket, which was their only way back up, falls onto the squid's face. The squid pulls the blanket off his face with one of his arms and continues up toward the ledge, on which all of our heroes are now stranded.
"Nice idea, Gadget-luv." Monty says sarcastically (but how did he know what happened?)
"Thanks. Monty!" Gadget smiles, not getting the point of Monty's comment. "Which one?"
"The one you're gonna come up with next!!" Monty whines, as the squid reaches the ledge and grabs all five Rangers in one of his arms.
The squid brings our heroes to where he can see them and proceeds to squeeze the life out of them. But the tube of suntan lotion, very fortunately, is the first and only thing to burst open, sending the slippery substance in every direction. The lotion-covered Rangers are shot straight into the air and the squid, losing his grip on the slippery cliff, waves his arms helplessly and plunges back into the ocean.
The Rangers fly up the side of the cliff and land safely on the top next to the beach stuff. They look rather relieved.
"OK," Gadget analyzes, "the suntan oil worked, considering..."
"Considering we nearly got ourselves squished by a squid!" Monty says, as he tries to stand up but he slips on the suntan oil and, despite Zipper grabbing on to his shirt, falls back on his rump.
"Yeah! That we were almost a Squid McNugget!" says Dale.perhaps a little subliminal advertising to promote the Rescue Ranger Happy Meal figures?
A hurt look forms on Gadget's face. "Gosh, guys! I...I thought I was helping."
"You were, Gadget!" Chip says, putting a paw on Gadget's shoulder. "Just...maybe...sometimes you could help a little faster!"
"You know," says Monty, "just pick out a way, ONE WAY, and stick with it!"
"ButI don't think I can think that way!" Gadget says in a small, humble voice.
"Sure ya can, Gadget!" Dale pipes up, as he and Zipper, who are now free of each other, brush themselves off. "Just don't think so hard. That's how I do it!"
(I'd like to write Ms. Roberts a letter about that line.)
The scene cuts to a shot of the Rangers walking up a sandy trail among some tropical plants, with a fancy hotel in the distance.
"Now that this case is closed, why don't we catch some rays before the big Luow tonight?" Monty suggests, telling the viewing audience that thing with the squid was a case of some kind.
"Yeah, let's go to the beach!" says Dale, who in addition to his red Hawaiian shirt is now wearing a white hat like Gilligan. Dale starts toward the beach but Chip lifts him off the ground and sets him down, pointing in a different direction.
"You can't! We're going sight-seeing!" Chip declares.
"Awww, I don't feel like running around anymore!" Dale protests.
"Uh, Chip, maybe we should catch some rays!" Monty says. "It's been a rigorous few days, ya know!" Monty is taking sides with Dale, and Zipper suddenly flies from Monty's shoulder to Chip's side. Chip is determined to have his way, it seems, as he (and Zipper) scowl at the two who dare to question his authority.
"Let's leave it up to Gadget!" says Chip, wanting a tiebreaker. He turns to Gadget, smiling. "Your call, Gadget! Do we go to the beach or sight-see?" He and Zipper point inland, coaching Gadget in her choice.
"Well..." Gadget pauses for a minute. "How about we wear our swimsuits while we go sightseeing? Or..." Gadget is looking off into space trying to think of a way to combine the two ideas."...we could look at maps while we lie on the beach!"
"Uh.how about we just sightsee?" Chip suggests.
"No! BEACH!" Dale yells. The two chipmunks go nose to nose trying to stare each other down until Zipper separates them.
"Sightseers--follow me!" Chip proclaims pointing inland.
"This way to the beach!" Dale says in the same tone of voice--pointing toward the beach. The chipmunks walk off in opposite directions. Zipper takes off after Chip.
"Hey, pally! Wait up!" says Monty as he takes off after Dale.
Gadget is still standing, looking off into space and trying to think of a compromise. "Or if we sightsee on stilts, we'll be that much closer to the sun! Hey!.Gadget sees that she is alone and sighs. "Or I can learn to come up with a solution and just go with it," she says to theTV viewer.
The camera pans up towards the huge hotel behind her and the scene fades to a shot of people by the hotel's pool. They are all dressed in shorts and swimsuits or some other light clothing and some are wearing native islander clothing. Two people seem out of place.one is dressed in a suit and the other is dressed in repairman-type garb.
"What's wrong? Why won't my incredible, expensive, ACME Majestic Ultra-light All-Weather Fiberglass Volcano erupt on cue?!" the man in the suit (the hotel owner I'd guess), pointing towards the large (and fake apparently) volcano behind the hotel, demands of the mechanic.
"Oh, well. THERE'S your problem!" says the mechanic, pointing to a switchboard hidden in a wooden idol right next to them. He flips the switch and smoke comes out of the volcano at an uneven pace, but nothing else happens. "Must be a short," the man says.
"You'll be short in your pay rate until that thing works correctly!" the owner informs him.
Scene switches to a little island village a short ways away. The residents of this village are mice, all wearing clothes made of palm branches and other plants. They are gathered in front of one of the village huts, chanting something over and over again.
"LUWHINIE! LUWHINIE! LUWHINIE!"
One very fat mouse, Chief Hubba-Hubba, carrying a staff of some kind (looks like a dandelion with all the petals pulled off), calls to someone inside the tent. "Please, Luwhinie! Make happy the Hoo-Hoo volcano gods!"
Scene goes to inside the hut where we see a mouse that looks a lot like Gadget! She is going back and forth between shouting outside of the window at the volcano and pulling on a metal tap sticking out of the ground by the wall. The tap apparently controls the rate at which the smoke comes out of the volcano.
"O GREAT VOLCANO GODS! (pulls on the tapcrack) Oh great! I broke a nail! PLEASE HEAR US!. (pulls on the tap again) C'mon! Turn already! I, LUWHINIE, ASK YOU SPARE US!(pulls on the tap again) If this thing jams they'll never make me queen!" The tap finally moves and the volcano goes to normal, spewing a smooth stream of smoke rings.
"QUEEN LUWHINIE! QUEEN LUWHINE! QUEEN LUWHINIE!" shout the happy mice outside the hut.
"QUEEN LUWHINIE!" muses the mouse inside the tent, as she places a beach sandal painted like a headhunter mask in front of the tap. She turns to show the TV audience that she indeed looks just likes Gadget (her face was hidden until now) although she sounds more like Deborah Walley. "I love the sound of that!" She checks her hair then walks out of the front door of the hut--actually it's a furry curtain--to the cheers of the villagers. She holds up her paws, taking it all in.
When the cheers die down, Hubba-Hubba comes forward and, with his hands raised above his head, declares: "For long time now, we needed queen to lead us! Luwhinie is only one who know what volcano gods know!" The villagers erupt into cheers and Luwhinie blows kisses to them all.
"So now we crown you Queenie for REAL!" Hubba-Hubba tells Luwhinie.
"If you insist." Luwhinie says in a meek little Scarlett O'Hara type voice.
"Right after the test, eh?" Hubba-Hubba smiles (part Canadian apparently).
Luwhinie abruptly stops showing her "adoration" to "her people".
"Test? What test?! I never heard about any test!!"
"Test to crown you Queenie!" Hubba-Hubba says. "You know...survival test!!"
"SURVIVAL TEST?!! Nobody ever told me about any test! We've never even had a queen before!!" Luwhinie issues a steady stream of protests with her arms crosses in front of her.
"No one ever survive before!" Hubba-Hubba informs her. "First, you must cross the Lobster Tank of Terror!"
"OOOOH! AAAAAAH!" goes the crowd.
"Then, pass over the Coals of Catastrophe!"
"Finally, ride the Waves of Doom!!"
"Oh! Is that all?!" Luwhinie smiles, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
"The test begin at sundown!" Hubba-Hubba decrees. "If you survive, we crown you Queenie!"
"QUEEN LUWHINIE!! QUEEN LUWHINIE!!" the crowd chants.
"Tomorrow we get new queen!" Hubba-Hubba says to the crowd. He pauses then adds, pointing to Luwhinie's abode, "Or extra hut." Luwhinie looks at the house with concern as well.
Scene fades to shot of inside Luwhinie's hut. Outside, the sun is beginning to set. Luwhinie is pacing back and forth, not in a very good mood.
"How am I gonna pull this one off?" she mutters. "I want that crown!"
"Yo! Your royal highnossity!" A voice calls from outside. One of the villagers, a guy mouse with shaggy blond hair and a huge upper body, walks in carrying a surfboard. "Heh heh! Who'd a-thunk it?! ME! Boyfriend to a queen!"
Luwhinie scowls at the newcomer. "Shaka-Baka, I don't get to be queen unless I survive that stupid obstacle course!"
"So fake 'em out, Babe!" says Shaka-Baka, who goes over to the sandal-idol, leans his surfboard against the wall, then pulls back the sandal-idol hiding the volcano switch. "You've already conned the whole tribe with this switch on the volcano! How hard can a crummy obstacle course be to fake?!" he says with a hint of a laugh in his voice.
Luwhinie runs past him, grabs the surfboard and holds it up, threatening to scratch a streak down the middle. "What did you say, Shaka-Baka?!" she snarls.
"Uh--nothing. Oh, please don't scratch the finish!" S. B. pleads, dropping to one knee and holding out his interlocked hands.
"No, seriously! What did you say?" Luwhinie says. She is no longer angry, but insistent.
"But I promised I'd never tell!" S.B. pleads. I guess threatening to scratch up his surfboard was how Luwhinie got him to vow secrecy a while back.
"No!! Don't you see?!" Luwhinie says, tossing S.B. his surfboard, which he strokes affectionately. "If I can con the whole tribe with this volcano scam...maybe I can con them if I rig the obstacle course too!"
Luwhinie, deliriously happy with this plan, jumps up on Shaka-Baka's chest (he's over twice her size) and looks into his eyes while stroking his cheek. "Shaka-Baka, you're a genius!" she says, planting one on his lips. "Have to hurry!" she says, jumping down to the ground and running for the door. "Toodles!" she calls as she exits.
"I'm a genius?!" says a dazed S. B. staring after her. "WHOA! Who'd a thunk it?!" This dude is definitely not Moondoggie material.
The scene fades to outside shot of a fish tank of sorts next to a large rock with numerous plants all around. A little waterfall is trickling down the rock. Camera zooms in to show that Gadget is sitting by the tank, tying a couple of corks to her feet.
"So, what if the others wanna do something different?! I can work on my inventions all by myself!!" Gadget sounds like she's upset, yet we see a very cheerful expression on her face. A goof-up by the animators perhaps?
Camera pans over to show that Luwhinie is on the other side, examining the tank. "Hubba-Hubba's crazy if he thinks I'll be able to swim across that lobster tank!!" she exclaims (so that's what that fat chief's name was!). "How am I gonna fake this?!"
At that moment she spots Gadget, walking across the top of the water with her cork shoes. "Maybe I won't have to!" she says quietly, looking at Gadget intently. A smile spreads across Luwhinie's face. "Luwhinie, you're a genius!" she gloats. "Now, all I have to do is con her...or convince her--to take my place." Luwhinie heads up the rock formation behind the lobster tank to get a better vantage point.
Gadget is halfway across the lobster tank and is now walking around, giving her corkshoes a good testing, when she hears...
"OH YOO HOO!! YOO HOO!!"
Gadget turns to see Luwhinie at the other side of the tank, waving at her from atop a rock ledge.
"Oh! Hello!" Gadget says, walking over to the other side and looking up at Luwhinie. "Um, is it OK that I'm here? I mean, I'm not trespassing or anything, am I?"
"No, Honey, I'd say you were in exactly in the right place!" Luwhinie coos down at her. "By the way, my name's Luwhinie."
"Mine's Gadget!" Gadget responds cheerily, then she gets a serious, trying-to-recall look on her face. "You know, you remind me of someone--"
"What an intriguing name!" Luwhinie exclaims. "Gadget! Just like those gadgets on your feet!" Luwhinie points toward Gadget's corkshoes, which have slipped below the water.
"My feet! I mean--Golly! I'm sinking!" Gadget yelps, looking down.
"I bet you'd have all kinds of gadgets to get across this lobster tank!" Luwhinie says as she grabs hold of a large plant hanging just above the tank. She jumps on to the plant leaf and is lowered down to where she can grab Gadget's hand. Then they bounce back to the rock ledge. "That is assuming you wanted to get across!" Luwhinie adds.
"That's the trouble," Gadget says with a sad look on her face, "I can never decide on just one!" She bends over to take her corkshoes off.
"But that's fabulous!" Luwhinie squeals, certain that her way of faking the obstacle course is secure.
"Really?" Gadget smiles up at Luwhinie as she slips the corkshoes off. "My friends don't always think it's so wonderful."
"You've already figured out a way to get across the lobster tank!" Luwhinie says, pointing towards the tank and smiling at Gadget. "What if you...say...had to walk across a tightrope over coals?" Luwhinie is now testing as to whether this inventor twin of hers can do the other tests (but you probably guessed that by now).
"Well, once I calculated out the center of gravity..." Poor Gadget is more involved in figuring out solutions to Luwhinie's challenges as to figuring out why she is asking them.
"You'd figure out a dozen ways to do it!" Luwhinie crows. "And I'll bet even an ocean wave wouldn't slow you down!" Luwhinie says, giving Gadget a "friendly poke in the ribs with her elbow.
"Oh gosh! There are lots of ways to handle that!" Gadget grins.
"You know...you're just the person to help me!" Luwhinie says, throwing a friendly arm around Gadget's shoulder.
Luwhinie starts walking along the rock, with Gadget in tow. "I have this--uh--test I have to run tonight. It's just a little survival test...no big deal. And I thought you, with all those wonderful ideas, could run the test instead of me!" Luwhinie ends this speech by holding Gadget at arm's length and looking into her eyes as if she has just asked her to a slumber party.
"Sure!" Gadget says, smiling ear to ear. "Gosh! You look just like me!" Gadget's complex mind has suddenly grasped an obvious concept.
"Just like sisters!" Luwhinie says, putting both hands on Gadget's shoulders. "And I'd do anything for a sister!"
"Oh, but I don't want to hog all the fun!" Gadget says worriedly. She is buying this hook, line and sinker, isn't she?
"Oh, Honey! You'd be doing me a favor! Swear to Pele!" Luwhine says switching the flower in her hair for Gadget's goggles, to which Gadget takes no offense. "Now, uh--my friends will be here soon--" Luwhine starts pushing Gadget towards something.
"Oh! But my friends are meeting me here for the luau!" Gadget says.
Luwhinie gets a worried look on her face for a moment, then a confident smile returns to her lips. "Your friends are my friends, right, Honey? I'll take care of your friends and you let mine take care of you!" With that, Luwhinie pushes Gadget a good ways to the right then backs off hurriedly. "Good luck with the te...uh, I mean...have fun!" Luwhinie says as she turns and runs off.
Gadget stands there, staring after Luwhinie a moment, when she is suddenly jumped by two mice from the village who stuff her inside a white athletic sock. Gadget puts up a struggle, stirring up a dust cloud. When the cloud clears, the two villagers have the sock above their heads and Hubba-Hubba is standing beside them.
"Let the test begin!" he shouts, waving his staff in the air.
Scene cuts to a shot of the other four rangers, walking along the ground next to the lobster tank.
"Gadget?" calls Chip. He and the other three look around. "We were supposed to all meet back here for the luau! I hope she's not late!"
Luwhinie is making her way over toward the other rangers, going over the rock ledge above the Rangers heads, when a tree leaf she is holding onto for support rips and she falls into Chip's arms, startling everyone for a moment.
"Looks like she's right on time, Chip!" Dale grins.
"Gadget! Are you all right, luv?" Monty asks.
"Uh...I'm fine, honey, absolutely fine!" Luwhinie says (you'd think she'd at least change her voice a little to be more convincing). She turns toward Chip. "Thanks to you, huh? Uh--Chop?"
"Chop?" says Monty. Dale and Zipper notice this gaffe as well and look just as puzzled.
Meanwhile, the two villagers are throwing the sock containing Gadget into the lobster tank!
"Uh...maybe you need to sit down, Gadget," Dale suggests, taking Gadget--oops--Luwhinie by the hand and walking her over towards the lobster tank.
"Uh--sure, sweetie!" says Luwhinie, having not heard Dale's name and not having a name to mispronounce. Just then, Luwhinie notices the sock sinking to the bottom of the tank. Not wanting Dale to see Gadget emerge from the sock, Luwhinie faces Dale away from the tank. "Thank you so much for caring!" she says, right before planting a kiss on Dale's lips. When she breaks away, there is some lipstick on Dale's face, as well as a goofy grin (ooo, Foxy would be jealous!).
"Hey!" yells a very jealous Chip. "I was the one who caught you, remember?!"
"Of course I remember, Chirp!" says Luwhinie as she rushes over and does the same favor for Chip. "Let's go to the luau!" she says, when she unlocks her lips from Chip's. The two goofy-faced chipmunks and a very puzzled Monty and Zipper follow her as she heads down the path away from the tank.
Meanwhile at the bottom of the tank, two lobsters are pulling at the sock! Gadget emerges from the sock and shoots up toward the surface, just missing the claws of the lobsters as they try to grab her!
Luwhinie has seen this and she stops suddenly. "Oh, but you go on ahead," she says to the others. "I forgot...uh...my purse."
Monty gives her a long bewildered look. "When did you start carrying a purse?!"
"Uh.my makeup bag?"
"Gadget...you don't wear make-up." Chip says, giving her a bewildered look of his own.
Luwhinie gives Chip an incredulous look. "You're kidding!" she says. She tries again (third time's the charm). "Uh.my metal thingy used to tighten doodads?!"
"Your wrench?" says Dale in a voice that shows he thinks Gadget's description very strange.
"Yeah! Yeah! I forgot my wrench!" Luwhinie says, very relieved. "I'll meet you at the luau!" she calls as she takes off towards the lobster tank.
Meanwhile, Gadget has made it to the surface. The villagers are watching from a rock ledge high above. Luwhinie suddenly peaks out of a bush to the left of the tank, at surface level. Gadget sees her and swims toward the rock sticking out over the surface of the water, near Luwhinie's hiding place.
"Oh, Luwhinie! HELP!!" Gadget wails.
"Sure, Honey!" Luwhinie, who has stepped out of her hiding place, smiles down at Gadget. "Just as soon as you make it to the other side of the tank."
Gadget is clutching the rock, but cannot pull herself out of the water. "But--GASP--but I'll never make it!!" she howls up at Luwhinie.
"But of course you can!!" Luwhinie says cheerfully. "You'll think of something! I have complete faith in you!" Luwhinie is all smiles as she walks over to Gadget. Her right foot goes up rather high and comes down rather hard on Gadget's fingers!
"Ouch!" Gadget cries out as she loses her grip and plunges below the surface.
"Oh, dear. How clumsy of me!" Luwhinie says in a playful 'Oh, poo!' sort of voice.
Gadget, just below the water surface, looks down into the water. The camera pans down to show the lobsters grinning up at her, snapping their claws together. The music reaches a high suspenseful note and we dissolve to commercial.
Upon returning from commercial, we see Luwhinie kneeling on the rock ledge, looking down into the water. "Honey, this'll be a snap!" she says.
Gadget, in the meantime is swimming for dear life beneath the surface. The lobsters are snapping away at her and Gadget is zigging and zagging, just barely avoiding their grasp!
The scene cuts back to Luwhinie who is still watching her twin swimming for her life. "Trust me!" she says, adding on to her earlier smart aleck remark.
Scene cuts back to Gadget, who is swimming along the bottom of the tank (wouldn't swimming along the surface be a better strategy?). She swims toward a filter in the bottom right corner, noticing that the sock she was in has floated nearby. She dives behind the filter and peeks over the top. Two lobster eyes poke up over the top of the filter, then the lobster pulls itself up and snaps at Gadget! He misses and cuts one of the tubes, which issues a steady stream of air bubbles.
A smile comes across Gadget's face. She swims over to the sock, grabs it and hauls it up towards the cut air tube. SNAP! A lobster snaps at her and misses. She grabs the air tube. SNAP! A lobster snaps at her and misses again. She sticks the tube into the sock and holds the sock opening tightly around tube. The sock fills up like a balloon. Then, Gadget jumps on top and holds on tight. Just then, a lobster (the same one that snapped at her twice, I think) punctures the balloon-sock and Gadget is hurled up towards the surface. WHOOSH! She hurls out of the water and high above the heads of the villagers!
"Luwhinie get very high score on test!" comments Hubba-Hubba as Gadget flies towards them. The villagers scatter and Gadget crash lands in front of Hubba-Hubba. She lets out a bunch of muffled cries as sheworks her way out of the sock. She finally wriggles free and kneels on fours, gasping for breath.
"Hey! Way to wail, Luwhinie!" Shaka-Baka cheers.
"Uh--excuse me" Gadgets says to the villagers as she tries to get her breath back. "But there's a problem here!" Gadget's enthusiasm about running these survival tests has dimmed somewhat.
"That's right!" Hubba-Hubba nods. "She have two more to go!"
"Two more what?!" Gadget shrieks.
"Chill, Luwhinie!" Shaka-Baka comments. "You know...two more parts to the survival test?"
"But I'm not--" Gadget's protest is cut short by two villagers shoving her back into the sock and tying up the opening.
"Done yet? We know." Shaka-Baka smiles. "But hang tight, babe, and you'll soon be Head-Queen-type-person!" The villagers pick the sock up and carry poor Luwhi--I mean--Gadget off to the next test.
Scene fades to a nighttime shot of a crowd of people, locals and tourists, enjoying a luau that is taking place just behind the hotel. Camera pans over crowd to the five Rangers...oops.that is, four Rangers and one imposter, who are relaxing by a little fire. Luwhinie still has them all convinced that she's Gadget and the chipmunks are sitting on either side of her on a bench made from a seashell. Monty and Zipper are roasting marshmallows on sticks (or are they pieces of white fish?). Zipper tries to eat his but it bursts into flames and disintegrates.
Monty sticks one in his mouth, sucking it off the stick. "Dig in, boys!" he says to the chipmunks. "It's OK! Ha! They're boneless!"
"We're full, Monty!" Chip says, declining Monty's offer...or saying that he and Dale are naked? Get it? Full Monty?! HAHAHAHAHAHAok, ok.
"But we're sure having fun!!" Dale grins, looking at what he believes is a suddenly very affectionate Gadget (good thing Foxy isn't around, that's all I gotta say).
"Yes! Aren't we all having fun!" Gad--I mean--Luwhinie exclaims. Just then she sees the villagers marching by with a squirming sock on their shoulders (how long have they been carrying Gadget around?!). Luwhinie realizes something and jumps off the bench. The two chipmunks, who had been leaning on her, bonk their heads together and fall flat on the bench.
"Oh, excuse me!" Luwhinie says. "I have to go get--thatthing you pound pointy things in with!"
"You mean...hammer?" Chip says, still lying down and looking at her with a lovesick expression.
"Yeah! That's it!" Luwhinie smiles. "Back in a flash!" she says as she bolts off.
Monty looks in the direction she went. There is a befuddled expression on his face. "Gadget forgetting her tools?! Something's up!" he comments to himself.
Meanwhile the villagers, Hubba-Hubba and Shaka-Baka are walking by some tall grass, on their way to "the next test", when we see Luwhinie hiding behind the grass. She has her hands by her mouth, making a "swishing" sound, like ocean waves. This sound catches the ear of Shaka-Baka.
"Whoop! Surf's up! Gotta go!" Shaka-Baka announces and takes off for the beach. The sound of the ocean has made him forget about his main squeeze's test, or the fact that it's nighttime.
But once Shaka is beyond the tall grass, Luwhinie grabs his tail and drags him to a stop after a few feet (she being the one who gets dragged). Shaka finally notices the object clinging to his tail and looks back.
"Hey, Luwhinie!" He stares at her a few seconds, then it hits him."WHOA! I thought you were still in the sock!"
"I am." Luwhinie scowls.
Shaka looks off into the distancehis mind trying to figure this out. Finally--"Oh. Ok!"
Luwhinie's expression suddenly turns to one of (feigned) nervousness and she clutches at Shaka's shirt. "Shaka-Baka baby, this next test has me pretty nervous! I may do or say strange things, even pretend I'm not me!"
"Yeah..but..if you're not you--"
"But I am!" Luwhinie assures him, looking up with pleading eyes. "And whatever I say or do--" Luwhinie grabs Shaka by the shirt and "shakas" him back and forth. "MAKE ME FINISH THIS TEST!!"
"Gotcha, doll." Shaka smiles.
"Ok, baby!" Luwhinie, very relieved, starts to walk off. "I gotta get back in the sock now! See ya in a second!" she calls to Shaka and heads back to continue her fooling the other Rangers that she is Gadget.
."Deal, dudette!" Shaka yells after her.
Scene fades to shot of a pit filled with hot coals. Some mice from the village, Hubba-Hubba and Shaka-Baka are all gathered at one end. A tightrope is stretched across the pit and walking the tight rope, using skinny metal hot dog tongs as a tightrope balance, is our poor little Gadget!
"But I'm not Luwhinie! Listen to me! There's been a mistake!" she wails to Hubba-Hubba and Shaka-Baka, with her eyes staring down at the coals.
"Hey, we gotcha, Luwhinie!" No-lo problemo!" Shaka grins at Gadget, giving her an OK sign. Luwhinie's speech has him and Hubba convinced that Gadget is just a very nervous Luwhinie. Oh dear.
Just then, the rope starts to break, right at Gadget's feet!!
"No! Please! Hey!" Gadget shrieks in fear.
"GO, Luwhinie! GO!" Shaka howls with pleasure.
Gadget's scientific mind takes over her thought process. "OkIf I can get my center of gravity(looks around furiously).how about" She sees that the rope is about to break through. "C'mon, Gadget, deci--"
The rope snaps. Gadget hangs in mid-air for a moment then plunges toward the coals.
Gadget lands on the coals--no! She's ok! She ends up on the hot dog tongs and, using them for stilts, walks to the other side. She looks down over the edge of the pit and sees the four other Rangers, by the campfire, with the two chipmunks seated once again by Luwhinie. Luwhinie looks up and sees Gadget.
As Gadget is about to say something, she falls off the stilts and falls through the air, landing behind the bench. She appears at the top of the sea shell bench, covered in melted marshmallows. The other Rangers and Luwhinie look up at her.
"Well! Wasn't that floor show fun?! Time to go, boys!" Luwhinie hurriedly pushes the Chipmunks and Monty away from Gadget. Gadget waves he arms frantically and is trying to yell something to the others, but the marshmallow turns her yells to muffled gobbledy-gook.
"Hey! Whoever that is may be hurt!" Chip exclaims, fighting Luwhinie's attempts to push him back.
"Oh, Chap! You're so compassionate! I just adore that about you!" Luwhinie grabs Chip and gives him a long kiss.
The villagers rush by the lip-locked couple, shouting "Luwhinie! Luwhinie!" The villagers help the marshmallow-covered, and still mute, Gadget out of the marshmallow pile and onto their shouldersstill chanting "Luwhine! Luwhinie!"
The real Luwhinie sees that she was not spotted by the villagers, the real reason for the passionate kiss with Chip (of course), and unlocks her lips from the chipmunk's. "Coast is clear...uh, I mean..Thanks, Dear!" Luwhinie smiles at Chip.
Luwhinie walks over to get a better look at what's happening with Gadget. Chip, meanwhile, starts floating up in the air as little hearts circle his head.
"Down, boy, down!" Monty says, grabbing Chip's ankle and pulling him back to earth.
Luwhinie is watching intently as Gadget is being carried to the next test. "That babe's gonna bolt on me first chance she gets, and there's still one test to go!" Luwhinie grumbles. "How can I force her" A smile forms on her face and she snaps her fingers. "Of course! I'll control her by controlling them!" She turns and looks back at the four Rangers. Monty stops Chip from floating off again, by slapping a paw on his head.
Scene fades to overhead shot of Luwhinie at the top of the volcano, looking down into it. "Have you found my things I fix things up with yet?" she calls down into the volcano. A rope is descending from the mouth of the volcano to the.bottom?
Camera shows that the inside of the volcano is not filled with magma, but it is enclosed space with a large water-heater type contraption at the bottom. Pipes stick out of it in all directions, pumping gas into it. Smoke is coming out of the top of it, which makes it look like a real volcano!
At the bottom of the volcano, we see that Chip, Dale, Monty and Zipper are scrounging around, looking for
"You mean--your tools?!" Monty calls up to Luwhinie.
"No, not yet!" Chip calls up.
"Still looking!" says Dale.
"Now hang on a minute there, pallies!" Monty's suspicions have risen to the unbearable point. "Something ain't right hereOOP!" Monty is cut short as the rope has fallen on top of him.
"Sorry about that guys! The rope slipped!" Luwhinie calls down in a singsong voice.
"Not a problem!" "Accidents happen!"
"Lads--" Monty is most annoyed at the chipmunks unwavering cheerfulness. "Something's wrong with our little Gadget!" Monty hands the end of the rope to Zipper, who flies up toward the mouth of the volcano.
"Why, thank you! How convenient!" Luwhinie smiles at Zipper when he arrives. Zipper smiles back, but howls in alarmed confusion when Luwhinie suddenly grabs him and stuffs him into her backpack (which has suddenly appeared). The rope falls back into the volcano.
"Hey, watch it up there, you two!" Monty calls up.
"Zipper? Gadget?" Chip has finally started getting suspicious.
Just then, the heater starts up--flames spout out of the top--steam shoots out of the pipes and the volcano starts to shake!
"Uh oh!" Chip, Dale and Monty all say in unison. They all seem to have realized that they are in danger and this was a setup.
"Just in time for the nightly eruption!" Luwhinie grins evilly down into the volcano then heads down the volcano with Zipper securely tucked away in the backpack.
Scene cuts to shot of the beach. All the villagers are standing on the shore and Luwh...I mean...Gadget is starting to wade out into the water, with a red surfboard on her back. She is nervously looking back at the villagers.
"Time for final test!" Hubba-Hubba exclaims, holding up an hourglass. "If Luwhinie survive surf by the time sand in glass run out, she is our true leader! LET THE WAVES BEGIN!" Hubba-Hubba turns the hourglass upside down and places it on the rock beside him.
"For the LAST TIMEI AM NOT LUWHINIE!!" Gadget howls in protest, throwing away the surfboard. "And am through with these silly 'tests'!!"
Gadget hears a whistle, and looks over toward a nearby bush. Luwhinie has poked her head out of the bush and is waving at her.
"Luwhinie!" Gadget exclaims. She rushes over to Luwhinie and places her hands on Luwhinie's shoulders. They both smile at each other. "Oh! Am I glad to see you!" says Gadget bending over and picking up the surfboard. "Here!" she says, pushing the surfboard toward Luwhinie.
Luwhinie's smile turns to a look of shocked disbelief and she pushes the surfboard back at Gadget! "Are you crazy?! There are SHARKS out there!" she snaps at Gadget! She points at the waterand indeed, shark fins are sticking out just above the water, going back and forth.
"But you better finish this test for me--or your friends will have a hotter time in Hawaii then they planned on!" Luwhinie has a look of pure, determined evil on her face as she says this.
"What do you mean?!" Gadget demands, staring at Luwhinie with alarm. "What have you done to my friends?!"
Luwhinie's expression and voice soften. "They got a little to close to the volcano...and fell in!" She finishes this sentence in a cruel voice and an evil grin.
"I don't believe you!" Gadget yells at her.
"I thought you wouldn't, so I brought proof!" Luwhinie coos. She takes off the backpack and opens it just a crack. The TV audience can't see inside, but we hear a faint buzzing sound.
"I control the gas jets that make the volcano erupt!" Luwhinie sneers. She gives Gadget a hearty shove backwards. "Finish this test or I'll finish your friends!!"
Gadget looks back at Luwhinie, but she soon realizes that she has to run this test to save the others from this power-crazed mouse. Then, without hesitation, she wades into the water and paddles out on the surfboard. Sharks start to circle around her, the music strikes a spine-tingling note and we fade to commercial.
When we come back, we see that the volcano is really starting to billow out smoke. Scene cuts inside where the three trapped Rangers are trying to get out. They have formed a tower with Monty on the bottom, Chip on his shoulders and Dale on Chip's shoulders. Dale is trying to reach the lowest pipe.
"Almost got it!" Dale says, straining for it.
"I don't like the smell of this at all!" says Monty as Chip steps on his nose (although he meant what was going on with Gadget) "There's something seriously wrong with Gadget--providing she really is Gadget!"
Just then, steam shoots out of a spout on the heater, right by Dale's tail. Dale howls in pain and falls over, toppling the others.
"Time for Plan B!" Chip declares, picking himself up.
Meanwhile, Gadget is now riding a wave. She is showing some real surfing talent, but her thoughts are with the others. "I've got to save the others from that mechanical volcano, but how?!"
Back on the beach, Luwhinie is watching intently. Despite having threatened to kill three of Gadget's friends a little while ago, she is rooting for her like a fan at a ballgame! "C'mon, Gadget! Make me queen!" she hoots.
Gadget is still surfing like a pro and contemplating her friends' dilemma at the same time"I could always rewire the circuitry on the volcano."
"LUWHINIE! LUWHINIE!" The villagers on the beach are shrieking their approval.
"Or maybe pump saltwater into the pipes, creating an electrical current!" Gadget is still hypothesizing and riding the waves.
Back on the beach (again), Luwhinie is gazing at Gadget, when a little toddler mouse crawls up on the rock next to her and starts waving and shrieking happily at Gadget. Luwhinie is becoming upset (perhaps jealous of all the attention). "Hurry up, Gadget, or I'll..." Luwhinie's muttering is interrupted by a wave crashing against the rocks. When the wave subsides, Luwhinie is standing on the beach, soaking wet and coughing up water.
But--OH NO!!--the little boy mouse that was next to her is now being tossed around in the ocean. He is waving his arms frantically and shrieking with fear.
Gadget hears the cries and turns toward the noise. "Oh, golly! I have to help that child!! I can calculate the angle of the riptide--C'MON GADGET--just DO it!!" Gadget turns the surfboard to the right away from the beach, putting her in horrible danger!! She now has to ride up and down the waves, with sharks waiting for her if she falls!!
(Spinetingling, ain't it?!)
"You're going the wrong way!!" Luwhinie howls at her from the beach.
Hubba-Hubba and Shaka-Baka see what's going on too. "Oooo, she not make it now." Hubba-Hubba comments to the big surfer mouse.
Gadget is flying up and down the waves! She hurtles toward the little tyke and snags him up out of the water. She then turns the board towards the beach and the two of them slowly glide in (HA! Nothing to worry about!).
"NO! NO!! DON'T STOP!!" yells Luwhinie.
Gadget has no intention of surfing the board in, but to slowly paddle in while holding the little tyke securely. But a big wave forms right underneath the board, lifting Gadget and the little guy high into the air. Luwhinie stares aghast at the huge tidal wave coming towards her. The other villagers run for higher and drier ground, but Luwhinie's attempt to get out of the tidal wave's path comes to late!! SPLASH!!!
When the wave subsides, Gadget is on top of a large rock holding the little kid in her arms and they are both unharmed! Amazing! Luwhinie is flat on her stomach, sopping wet. She spots Hubba-Hubba's hourglass floating by and picks it up. She sees that the sand has run out and she is ecstatic!
"You did it! YOU DID IT!!" Luwhinie crows. She then realizes the villagers might hear. "I mean--I did it!!"
Gadget has climbed down from the rock and is opening Luwhinie's backpack. "C'mon, Zipper!" she says. Zipper groggily flies out of the backpack--stars circling his head. "We've got to save the others!!"
Gadget says as she grabs the dizzy fly by his little arm and runs toward the volcano. The little mouse runs along with her. Gadget is looking at Zipper, Zipper is dizzy and the little mouse is looking up at Gadget, so no one sees Shaka-Baka standing in her way until Gadget crashes into him.
"Whoa, Luwhinie!" says S. B., helping a now dizzy Gadget to her feet. "We gotta crown you queen!" He smiles.
"You mean crown me queen!" says the real Luwhinie, walking up to Shaka-Baka and shoving Gadget aside.
The other villagers and Hubba-Hubba have all crowded around, looking at this predicament. "Sorry, lady! You not Luwhinie!" Hubba-Hubba says.
"No! Really! She is!" Gadget insists, pointing at Luwhinie. Luwhinie looks at the other smiling and nodding. "But she really isn't very nice!" Gadget adds, putting her paws on her hips and scowling at Luwhinie, who stops her nodding and gives Gadget a snobby look.
"SO?! I'm the only the volcano gods listen to--nice or not!" Luwhinie turns to the villagers. "Crown me!!" she demands. Gadget looks like she'd love to crown Luwhinie right now, if you know what I mean.
"But you not run tests!" Hubba-Hubba protests.
"All I had to do was survive until morning and I DID!" Luwhinie snaps.
"But--but--" Shaka-Baka sputters.
"FINE! Why don't we ask the volcano gods who they want as their queen?!" Luwhinie snarls, as she stalks off to "ask the volcano gods".
"I've gotta hurry!" Gadget exclaims, knowing what Luwhinie is up to.
"No go when volcano gods angry!" Hubba-Hubba says.
"And she'll make 'em plenty angry now!" Shaka-Baka moans.
"C'mon! There's more than one way to stop an angry volcano god!" Gadget runs off in the same direction as Luwhinie. The others look after her for a moment, then look at each other and shrug their shoulders.
Scene fades to Luwhinie walking into her hut. She shoves the sandal-island god aside and pushes the valve with both hands. "OK, "volcano gods"! Do your stuff!" she says as she pushes the valve all the way over. In fact, she breaks the handle and falls flat on her face!
Scene cuts to back inside the volcano, where Chip has wrapped the rope around one of the over head pipes and is pulling to make sure it's secure.
"Ok! I think Plan Q will work here!" Chip smiles. Just then, a flame shoots out of a nozzle just below the pipe, burning through the rope which falls once again on a very somber Monterey Jack. "Ok! Time for Plan R!" Chip declares.
Scene cuts to the village just outside the volcano, where a bunch of villagers are gathered around Luwhinie.
"If I don't get the crown, the volcano gods will destroy the village!" Luwhinie declares.
"Hey! No way, man! It's about to blow!" says Shaka-Baka, who is being dragged toward the volcano by Gadget.
Gadget pulls and pulls on Shaka-Baka's arm, dragging him toward the volcano. "We're going to stop this volcano now! Where's the main pipe?!" she demands, releasing Shaka's arm and looking him in the eyes.
Shaka-Baka looks at Gadget, then at Luwhinie, who stares at him with her eyes open wide and her arms folded across her chest. Shaka pauses, then points toward a nearby bush.
Gadget rushes over and tears away at the bush until she is on the other side, where she discovers the main gas pipe running along the ground into the volcano. "I need something to pop this line!" she calls back to the others, hopeful someone can, and will, help.
Zipper, performing one of his many Herculean feats of strength, grabs Shaka-Baka's surfboard, pulls it out of his hands and carries it over to Gadget! Incredible!
"Not my board!!" Shaka wails.
"It's the only way to save the village and my friends!" Gadget declares, taking the board from Zipper and jamming it under the gas pipe. Shaka-Baka runs over and stares at this in horror.
"But I just had it polished!" the surfer mouse whines. The dude has a major priority problem.
"Jump on three!" Gadget orders. "One...two...THREE!" Regardless of the new polish, Shaka-Baka jumps on the board and Gadget jumps on him. The board bends but it doesn't pry up the gas pipe! Then Zipper jumps on--and SCRUNCH..the gas pipe is wrenched up. The jam in the gas pipe causes --
How about that!! A fake volcano with a real rock outside! Fancy!
The other villagers break out into cheers. Luwhinie looks on in disbelief. "Why that little--" she snarls, waving a fist in the air.
A chorus of panicky wails is heard from inside the volcano as Monty and Chip come rushing out of the crack. A moment later, Dale runs out, howling and trying to fan out his smoking tail section.
"Way to go, your Luwhinie-likeness!" Shaka-Baka smiles at Gadget. He has undamaged surfboard tucked under his arm again.
"I'm not through yet!" Gadget smiles, pointing a finger in the air and looking at the TV audience.
Scene fades to sight of crowd of people all gathered outside the hotel. They are watching the volcano and OOOHing and AAAAAHing their approval. Suddenly the volcano's smoking and fire erupting stops. The crowd lets out a groan of disapproval.
Over at the volcano controls in the wooden idol, the hotel owner (almost forgot about him, didn't you?) is jumping from foot to foot and tearing at his hair in annoyance.
"Like I said--must be a short!" the repairman says. The hotel owner's mood doesn't change. The repairman, down on his hands and knees, fishes through his toolbox. "Now what happened to my pipe wrench?!" he wonders aloud.
Scene cuts to inside Luwhinie's hut where Luwhinie, despite having earlier given the impression she was not mechanically inclined, has the pipe wrench clamped onto the valve (the handle was broken earlier as you recall) and is pushing for all she's worth. "They'll be sorry! I'll turn it up full blast!!" she says.
Outside, the four male rangers are standing around with the villagers, as Gadget approaches, dusting her hands together. "I think I may have just solved our problem, boys!" she grins.
"Whatcha do, Gadget?" Monty asks.
"Oh, I just chose one thing..and stuck with it!" Gadget says as she folds her arms across her chest with a determined smile on her face.
"You can all start packing!" Luwhinie snarls at the villagers as she emerges from her hut. "Because this village is history! (she pronounces it "hiss-tree" and she is STILL wearing Gadget's goggles on her head!)"
A huge bulge is making its way through the main gas pipe into the volcano. The volcano crack from top to bottom (again?!) as the bulge enters. There is a pause--the volcano starts shaking...then it erupt--MARSHMALLOWS!! Half-melted marshmallows fly through the sky and the crowd of people by the hotel howl in delight!
The Rngers are all running away from the volcano, trying to avoid the sticky hot missiles.
"It's raining marshmallows!" Monty exclaims, looking over at Gadget.
"Yeah! I stuffed all the extra ones inside!" Gadget grins, looking up at the sky.
Luwhinie is also running away, but a marshmallow nails her in the head, knocking her flat. Some more land on her when she's down and she is a white pile of goop by the time she stands up.
Scene fades to shot of the five rangers surrounded by the villagers and a very happy Hubba-Hubba. "You save our village!" Hubba-Hubba tells them.
"Don't thank us! Thank Gadget!" Chip says. "She's the one who did it!"
"Golly! Thanks, guys!" Gadget blushes. She notices that the two chipmunks (who are still used to affectionate Luwhinie) are each leaning over to kiss her. She (all smiles) ducks and runs off to the side and the two 'munks end up smooching each other on the lips. They are both disgusted at this and start spitting and wiping their mouths off.
"Now that's my Gadget!" Monty says with a smile and a wink to Zipper.
The music plays the "ending theme" as we reach...
(Editor's note--the spelling of Luwhinie is *always* a matter under debate. Closed-captioning pegs it as 'Louwhiney,' and there's at least half a dozen different ways different Rangerphiles and fanfic authors like to spell it--notably Lawainee, Lawhiney, and Lahwhinie--although if you listen real hard, you'll *probably* hear it as a 'Lou' or 'Lu' noise--or, at least, *I* did. But unless we get a copy of the actual script, I suppose the issue will still be up in the air...)
Rescue Rangers and all characters and episodes copyright the Walt Disney Corporation and used without permission.
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