Three Men and a Booby

Episode written by Eric Lewald

Summarized by John Nowak

The story opens in a grocery store. Dale holds a list and a pencil in his hands, and walks while examining the list and checking off items. Monstrous, human-sized feet narrowly avoid crushing the little rodent.

"Now let me see... celery, gooseberry... Monterey Jack - what else did Gadget say?"

Monty is pushing a mouse-sized shopping cart and is nervously evading the humans walking around. "A couple of peanuts, if they're ripe. Chip said he'd get them." He avoids feet with a "Hey, hey hey ... Can we hurry this up?"

An employee shovels peanuts in their shells out of a bag onto a pile with a scoop. A lasso made of white thread floats up and narrowly misses a projecting peanut. Chip is on the floor, and makes another attempt to lasso a peanut, this time succeeding. Straining chipmunk muscles, he pulls at the snared peanut. Dale walks up behind Chip and taps him on the shoulder.

"Did you get the peanuts yet?" Dale asks.

At this moment, the lassoed peanut comes free. Evidently, it was the key peanut, because it is followed closely by a cascade of goobers. Chip and Dale emerge from the pile. Dale turns his head. Chip takes the opportunity to lift a nut over his head and prepares to strike it roughly against the head of his friend.

Dale is saved by Human intervention. "Darn these nuts," says the grocery employee. "They never stay put." He scoops up a mass of peanuts from the floor and lifts it, accidentally snaring Our Heroes in the process.

He dumps the load of peanuts and rodents on the peanut display. Chip grabs Dale and they race for cover, leaping into a conveniently open egg carton which is missing a few eggs. They close the top of the carton and smile at one another.

A crash comes from outside. "Oh dear oh dear, where are you Baby Doll?" they hear Mrs. Booby say. They open the egg carton slightly to look out. They see Mrs. Booby, an adult female Booby bird, who is searching among the eggs in an agitated manner. "Please, this is no time for hide-and-seek," Mrs. Booby says, and turns towards the egg carton which is serving as the chipmunks' refuge. "It's your mamma. Oh, please be here..."

She opens the egg carton and looks, puzzled, at the chipmunks, who grin up at her.

"What's this?" she asks, taken aback momentarily. The chipmunks wave. "Oh. Have you seen my baby booby egg?"

"Uh, these are all chicken eggs," Chip explains gently.

"You know," Dale goes on to give a quick chicken impression, and clucks.

"Hey!" yells the grocery store employee from off camera, "How'd that bird get in here? Get away from those eggs!"

The grocery store employee charges, brandishing a broom. He swings at Mrs. Booby and hits a display. Cans scatter. He chases her down the aisle, she evades his attacks, but the produce doesn't. Chip looks at Dale and shrugs reluctantly. "We've got to help her," he says. The chipmunks leap after them.

"Milk, yogurt, margarine," Monterey Jack says moodily while pushing his cart. "Now where did they hide the blooming cheese?"

An old man is selecting apples. Mrs. Booby races past him. The broom of doom smacks him in the back, sending him into the apples. "Keep out of my store, bird!" cries the employee. He catches Mrs. Booby on the tailfeathers and flips her into the next aisle over.

Monterey is pushing his cart, and releases a considered "Hmmm" just as Mrs. Booby lands on him, flattening him. "It fell into the dairy aisle!" yells the employee. "Chase it down to me!"

Mrs. Booby races away, followed by Chip and Dale. Monty is soon racing after them with the shopping cart. "Join me on the express, mates," he cries while scooping them expertly into the shopping cart.

Mrs. Booby's legs are grabbed by the employee. Incredibly, she is able to lift him momentarily off the ground. Flight seems easier in the Rangerverse. "You can't wreck my store and think you'll get away with it," the grocer snarls at the flapping booby. Monterey races up, sends the laden shopping cart up his shoes, and delivers a wicked blow with the edge to the grocer's shins.

A cop with a nightstick couldn't have done it better. The grocer stands for a moment, as though in contemplation of his agony. He then releases Mrs. Booby, and hops about, holding his foot. A moral lesson is taught to the children watching: don't be a choleric grocer or an Australian mouse will nail you on the shins with a couple of chipmunks.

Mrs. Booby is flipped into the air. Monty maneuvers the shopping cart to break her fall. She is wedged firmly into the shopping cart behind the chipmunks. Monty makes his getaway. Of course, he can barely see where he's going. Human legs scream and dive for cover. If the Rescue Ranger video game didn't have an "Avoid the Feet" screen, it should have. They bolt out the door and whisk between the legs of a fat woman in a jogging suit. Now almost completely out of control, they head towards a row of nested Human sized grocery carts. The chipmunks and Mrs. Booby cry out in terror. Monty remains calm because he doesn't know what's happening. Mrs. Booby spreads her wings and flaps mightily. The shopping cart takes off, Monty holding grimly onto the push bar. Mrs. Booby narrowly avoids hitting the other shopping carts. They fly off to the park, Monty crying, "This is the last time I'm flying in the economy seat!" You wish, Monty.

They have gained a little altitude, and are now over the tree cover. Chip points. "Right down there, Mrs. Booby," he suggests.

Boobies are not well regarded for their landings, and Mrs. Booby is no exception. They crash through the branches, screaming, and miraculously touch down on the landing strip branch of the Ranger Tree. They bounce into the hangar and come to a disorganized stop among the scattered bits and pieces of the hangar deck.

The door swings open and Gadget bounces in. "Hi, guys! Back from shopping so soon?" she asks brightly. Zipper buzzes about her. "Golly, company!" A few moments later she seems to realize the gravity of the situation and walks up to Mrs. Booby. She takes Mrs. Booby's wing in a hand and gently strokes a feather. "How can we help you?" she asks.

"What were you doing with those eggs?" Dale asks.

"I was searching for my baby. He was ..." Mrs. Booby explains. She blows her nose. "Eggnapped."

Monty, Gadget, and Dale assume appropriate expressions of horror while we dissolve into a flashback.

We are transported to a scene of maternal bliss. Mrs. Booby stands at her nest, which is on a cliff near the water. She kisses the shell of her egg tenderly, and waves bye-bye. She leaps off the edge of the cliff, to splashdown artlessly in the water. After a few moments, she surfaces, a fish on her head like a hat.

The hand of Man intrudes upon this scene in the faceless form of an evil, egg-shaped helicopter. It hovers over the nest and extends a gripper with suction cups to ensnare the egg, and lift it up into the body of the copter.

Horrified, Mrs. Booby goes after the helicopter. "They had taken my precious baby," she explains. "I tried to stop them, but all I could do was hold on!" Matching action to words, she tackles the copter's landing gear ineffectually, and clings desperately while the copter flies away over the ocean.

"I held on as long as I could," Mrs. Booby narrates. The helicopter is now over Our City. "It seemed like forever until..."

Mrs. Booby lets slip the landing gear and plummets earthward. She breaks her fall by grabbing onto a lamp post, and goes after the copter again. Alas, its lead is too great, and she watches after it with total despair. The flashback ends.

"How terrible!" gasps Gadget.

Chip steps dramatically in front of the team, and pulls his fedora on. "Well, Rangers, what are we waiting for?" he asks rhetorically. "We have an egg to rescue!"

Zipper does his bugle call.

"Rescue Rangers Away!" they cry out.

Mrs. Booby is flying in formation with the Ranger Plane. It's obvious they've been in the air for a while. "You sure this is the direction they were flying?" Chip asks.

"Well, yes!" says Mrs. Booby. " I think so..."

"Hold on, mates," Monterey says, looking downwards. "Cast your peepers down there."

We see a mansion decorated with large ovoid forms and the white, egg-shaped copter on a landing pad. "That's the thing that stole my egg!" Mrs. Booby cries out.

Fortunately, Zipper has been watching the sky. He points upwards. "What is it, Zipper?" Gadget asks.

Two hawks, wearing helmets flash by overhead, leaving contrails. These are Cruiser and Bruiser, the local jagdstaffel. "My goodness," Mrs. Booby says. "They don't look friendly at all."

"Better not take any chances," Chip decides, and Mrs. Booby and the Ranger Plane dive into the canopy of a tree.

The background music shifts into a Beach Boys pastiche as we focus on the two hawks.

"Hey, Cruiser, my bird," drawls Bruiser, who wears a blue helmet. "What say we cut the recon and catch some tunes downside?"

"Righteous idea, Bruiser. Let's jet." Cruiser wears a red helmet.

The hawks head down for the mansion and land next to a ghetto blaster. They slap one another's palm. "Are we hot or what?" Bruiser asks.

The Rangers lurk in the tree, unnoticed. Chip watches Cruiser and Bruiser through binoculars. "Ah, they're just a couple of cocky showoffs," Monty snorts, professional disapproval etched on his face. "They won't be any trouble for us."

"Hey, look there!" Dale yells at Chip, who shifts the angle of his binoculars. He now sees a large white limo pulling up through the gate to the mansion. "Must be the egg grabber napper!"

"We've got to get in there," Chip points out. "But how are we going to get past those hawks?"

"Well first, a little distraction," Gadget says, pulling a lever that releases the balloon on the Ranger Plane. It drifts upwards.

The Rangers pile aboard the Plane. Its wings are flapping and Gadget takes off. "Follow me, Mrs. Booby," Gadget says.

Cruiser and Bruiser ram the balloon, bursting it. Bruiser spits a bit of latex out of his beak. "False alarm," he says sadly.

"Hey," Cruiser points. "There's the boss."

The two hawks fly over the limo as it pulls in. We notice the Ranger Plane and Mrs. Booby cling under the car.

Nog, the butler of this residence, opens the limo door. "Welcome home, Mr. Dumpty, sir," he says with quiet reserve.

"My egg?" Mr. Dumpty asks excitedly, bouncing enthusiastically. "Have they delivered my booby egg yet? The wait has been simply eggscruciating."

"Indeed," says Nog. "I believe they placed it in the study."

The Rangers pile awkwardly out of their inverted Ranger Plane, dropping in a pile. Dale swings back and forth, helplessly snared in his safety belt.

They creep up to the front door, evading the watchful eyes of the hawks. Over a slow pan of Mr. Dumpty's mansion, which is decorated in Early Oviphile Megalomaniac (everything's shaped like eggs, even the passageways). "Gee," Gadget says thoughtfully, "I guess he's sort of an egg collector." They creep about for a few moments, and Gadget points dramatically. "Look over there!" she cries.

We see a room filled with eggs of various shapes and sizes. "This is just terrible," sobs Mrs. Booby. "So many babies taken from their mammas."

Zipper has found an empty stand labeled "Booby." It is next to a picture of the bird so there won't be any trouble when they try to translate this episode into different languages.

"Look. There's a place for your egg," Chip says.

"But where is it?" Dale asks.

"It's eggsquisite, Nog" Mr. Dumpty says from off camera. Mrs. Booby screams and everyone dives for cover.

Mr. Dumpty and Nog enter the room. Mr. Dumpty takes the egg from Nog, who is carrying the booby egg on a velvet pillow. Mr. Dumpty places it into the place allocated for it.

"Aren't they beautiful, Nog?" Mr. Dumpty asks. "And they're all mine. Mine. MINE!!" he cries out with the sheer joy of owning stuff.

Chip and Dale peep out from their hiding place: an egg-shaped container of pink mints. "Come," says Mr. Dumpty. "We must notify the Society of Egg Hunters." They march out of the room. Gadget and Monty hide behind a book. On his way out, Mr. Dumpty presses a switch on a device. An ominous red LED begins flashing, and a soft chirping sound is audible.

"Let's get the egg and get out of here," Chip says, screwing up royally. Hey, he's entitled to once in a while.

"Come to Mamma," Mrs. Booby says, lifting her egg from its stand.

Immediately, alarm bells ring. Mrs. Booby fumbles the egg but is fortunately able to retain control.

"They have my egg! Stop them!" yells Mr. Dumpty. He and Nog go after the bandits.

"Take my baby and get him out of here," Mrs. Booby says, handing the egg to Monty.

"What are you going to do?" Gadget asks.

"Don't worry about me. Save my baby!"

Mrs. Booby attacks Mr. Dumpty and Nog, confusing them while the Rangers bail out with the egg. Soon, the Ranger Plane has taken off.

Inside, Nog has snared Mrs. Booby in a sheet. He is having trouble controlling her.

"Eggselent, Nog," his employer says. "Now put her somewhere safe."

"But sir, what about the stolen egg?" Nog asks.

"Who cares?" Mr. Dumpty asks. "We have a real live Coral-Crested Booby. She'll lay all the eggs I want. As for those rodent egg-poachers, the boys will take care of them." He cackles evilly.

Outside, it seems Mr. Dumpty is right. "DUCK!" screams Gadget, as she puts the Ranger Plane into a sharp dive, avoiding the claws of Cruiser and Bruiser. The hawks overshoot, climb, and turn around for a second pass.

"They're coming back," Chip says.

"Better get a move on, Gadget," Monty says.

"I can't," Gadget explains. "We're just not fast enough!"

The hawks are on their six, high, and swooping in for the kill. Now we know why the Ranger Wing has a pintle mount gun on the tail.

Just before the hawks hit the Ranger Plane, Gadget rotates the flapping wings up by ninety degrees and flaps backwards. Confused by her viffing, the hawks overshoot and embed their heads into the ground. They vibrate like lawn darts.

"A right bonzer move, Gadget," Monty says fondly. "But you better step on it before those ostriches remember that they're hawks."

"Don't worry," Dale says, patting the egg. "We'll take care of you."

The Ranger Plane flies off. Cruiser and Bruiser pull themselves out of the dirt, looking decidedly sick.

In the hangar, Gadget is tinkering with the plane while Monty hefts the egg. "Don't worry, mates," he says. "It's as safe as a joey in a kangaroo's pouch."

Chip sighs. "But how are we going to get past those hawks again?"

"Well," says Gadget, screwing the top back onto the bleach bottle, "I sort of have an idea."

"But Gadget love," Monty protests, "Can you really build a gizmo that's faster than those hawks?"

"It doesn't have to be faster," Gadget explains. "Just trickier." We suspect Gadget has a well-thumbed copy of _The Art of War_ tucked in her mattress. "The problem is I need time to build it."

"So what's the problem?" Chip asks.

"Who's going to look after the egg?" Gadget asks, peering at her treemates.

"No problem," the boys say in unison. They point at one another. "They will."

The show continues its bold tradition of redefining gender-stereotyped roles as Gadget works on their next super weapon and Chip, Dale, and Monty take care of the egg.

Chip and Monty draw the egg a bath. Chip tests the water with his elbow. "Just right. The first rule about raising kids is keep them clean!" he scrubs the egg energetically with a toothbrush. Shortly thereafter the room fills with suds.

Dale attempts to diaper the egg. He soon jabs himself with the safety pin and leaps about in agony.

In a warm paternal scene, Monty lays back in an easy chair, one arm around the egg. Zipper dozes, perched on the back of the chair. "Well, that Jack was a right smart dodger," Monty says, reading from a book, "and shinned that beanstalk in a blink!"

The boys pull a blanket over the egg.

Gadget pops her head into Chip 'n' Dale's room and smiles warmly. The others are arranged around the egg, sound asleep.

In the morning, Monty trots up to the egg, wearing a jogging suit. "All right, hand over the lad, boys. I'm taking him for some fresh morning air," he says.

Chip interposes his body between the egg and Monty. "It's freezing out there."

"Yeah," snaps Dale, supporting Chip. "We've got to keep him roasty-toasty."

"Look, mates," says an annoyed Monty, "I'm the one who knows about babies. I raised a pack of wild dingo pups when I was stranded in the outback."

"Well, go back out to the outback, " says Chip.

"And let the baby get some rest," snarls Dale. Meanwhile, the egg begins to hatch. Two webbed feet protrude from the end and the egg waddles out the door.

"Aw, you're coddling the lad," Monty complains. "I'll make a real bird out of him."

"You stay away from that ... egg?" Chip notices horrific news. "It's gone!"

The three dash about Headquarters, searching in a panic.

Meanwhile, the egg is wandering blindly about the branches, surviving short falls and narrowly avoiding a terrible plummet to the forest floor.

"There he is!" Dale yells, seeing the egg's danger through the window.

Then follows an action sequence while the boys chase madly after the egg, knock it off a branch, and ultimately flip it into a Coke bottle funnel that leads back into the tree. Baby Booby hatches, and the boys get back inside just in time for him to look at Monty and say, "Mamma?"

The boys melt like butter on a hot skillet.

Dale tickles Baby Booby under the beak. Baby Booby bites his hand. We hear bones crush. "Ow!" yelps Dale. Baby Booby starts crying.

Chip bonks Dale. "You dummy! You scared him."

"He tried to eat me!" Dale complains.

"I reckon the little tyke's hungry," Monty observes. "Darned if I know what boobies eat, though."

Zipper flies in through the window and the question is soon answered when Baby Booby goes after him unsuccessfully.

"That's it!" Monty yells. "Birds eat bugs. Or I expect juicy worms."

Chip 'n' Dale, wearing pith helmets and carrying spades, go on a hunt for the feared Worm of the North American Deciduous Forest. Dale imitates a pointer dog. The worm he's spotted gasps in terror and dives into a wormhole. The chipmunks are after him, digging with their spades. In a moment, they vanish from view. Dale emerges, with a large thing - way too large to be a worm - in his sack. "I got him! I got him!" he cries triumphantly. He races home, and with a "Come and get it!" empties Chip out on the table in front of Baby Booby.

"Oops," Dale says sheepishly. Chip glares at Dale and bonks him. This is another morally ambiguous scene. Generally speaking, the Rangers seem to avoid serving up people who protest such treatment. It must be rough to be a cartoon predator. You also wonder why Dale didn't notice how heavy the bag was.

Zipper flies in with a heavy sack. He empties seeds out in front of Baby Booby, and perches on Monty's finger. "Seeds," Monty says proudly. "Good show mate. I guess necessity is the mother of self-preservation." Baby Booby eats avidly. "See, mates?" he says. "Once you get the hang of this fathering stuff, raising a booby is no problem at all."

We cut to Mr. Dumpty's mansion. Mrs. Booby is in a cage, over a spiral track. There is a hole in the bottom of the cage. If she lays an egg, it will drop away down the track, never to know the warm touch of its mother.

She stares defiantly at Mr. Dumpty. "You can't hold out forever, you know. Sooner or later," he snarls, "You'll have to lay an egg. That's just how things work." Mrs. Booby looks depressed. Clearly his words are true. There is a click. "What is that?" asks a panicked Mr. Dumpty. "It's someone after my eggs, isn't it?"

"Don't scramble yourself, sir," says Nog. "It's just the front gate." He turns to check it out.

Nog returns, holding an Easter basket filled with goodies.

"Well," asks Mr. Dumpty, "What is it? What is it?"

"It appears to be an Easter basket, sir."

Mr. Dumpty dances happily. "How thoughtful. It must be from an old friend."

"Mmm," says Nog dubiously. "But you haven't any friends, sir."

"Oh, it looks delicious," Mr. Dumpty says, grabbing an egg. Beneath it, in the Astroturf, wearing an olive drab M1 steel helmet is Chip.

"Sir," says Nog, disapprovingly. "You'll spoil your din-din."

"I don't care!" snaps Mr. Dumpty. "Uh... what am I having?"

"Egg omelet, Eggs Florentine, Eggs Benedict, with a side order of deviled eggs," Nog explains. We begin to understand why Mr. Dumpty is so hard-hearted.

"My favorite!" Mr. Dumpty proclaims. He returns the egg to the Trojan Easter Basket, concealing Chip. "This will be my dessert. Let's go."

"The coast is clear," Chip calls out.

Monty appears from inside one egg. "Well, bust me to Parliament, it worked."

A second egg shatters, revealing Gadget. "Of course it worked, you big goof." We suspect Gadget has a copy of Homer next to her copy of Sun Tzu.

The fourth egg breaks open, revealing Dale in an olive drab Brodie anti-shrapnel helmet. "Think the little guy's all right back at headquarters?" he asks.

"Sure," Monty assures him. "The little nipper can take care of himself." Zipper bites into a jelly bean in front of a chocolate bunny. The bunny begins to vibrate. Soon, Baby Booby appears from within the bunny.

"How did he get here?" Chip asks, befuddled.

"Baby?" asks Mrs. Booby.

Baby Booby looks around and sees his mother. "Mamma," he says, and is soon up in her arms.

"Oh, you precious darling you," she says.

The Rangers spend a moment weeping with emotion.

"You were right, Gadget," says Chip, implying Gadget snuck Baby Booby along without letting anyone else know.

"Let's go!" she says. The basket undergoes a startling transformation. Two control seats emerge from the Astroturf. The handle lowers and becomes a forward bumper. Caterpillar treads emerge from the bottom. The Easter Tank rotates on its treads, and its engine throbs with power. It's a hot rod tank.

"This reminds me of when I stormed the cheese banks at Monte Carlo with an armored division of Sicilian hamsters," Monty says, hinting at a dark past, while the terrifying Juggernaut lowers itself to the floor and moves towards the cage.

"Just let me at that cage. ARTILLERY!" Monty screams. The Easter Tank grinds to a halt on a pillow in a basket. A suction dart on a winch is raised to firing position. "This one is for the Parmesan we left behind!" Monty cries, and fires. The dart goes through the hole in the bottom of the cage, and attaches itself to Mrs. Booby's sit-upon.

"Oh my goodness gracious," she gasps, holding her baby. "Is this safe?"

Probably not, but it's too late. She is pulled through the hole with her baby and into the Easter Tank.

"Get those rodents! They're stealing my bird!" Mr. Dumpty cries out, aghast. "Stop them, block them, they have my booby bird! Scramble them, Nog!"

"With pleasure, sir," Nog says, revealing a nasty side to his otherwise silky disposition and advancing on the Easter Tank.

The Easter Tank rotates. "Here's the first assault, mates," Monty says. "Jelly beans ready."

Chip and Dale load jelly beans into a catapult on the side of the tank. They salute Monty.

"Fire!" yells Monty.

Jelly beans fill the air. Nog and Mr. Dumpty stumble on them. Obviously, they're not really jelly beans, which would be mashed flat by their weight: they're marbles made to look like jelly beans. Nog and Mr. Dumpty are on the floor. The Easter Tank roars past them.

"Nog, help me up! They think they're so smart." Mr. Dumpty takes out a whistle. "I'll let the boys handle them."

Outside, Cruiser and Bruiser hear the piping of the whistle.

"All right!" says Cruiser. "Let's hit it!" The hawks fly in through a pair of automatic doors on the roof, and stand in front of Mr. Dumpty, awaiting orders.

"Those filthy vermin have stolen my booby bird. Sic 'em." He orders. The hawks zoom after the Easter Tank.

"Crikey," says a saddened Monty. "Guess who's coming to dinner."

"There's no way out!" cries Mrs. Booby.

"Then we make one," Gadget says calmly, grabbing the best line of the episode. She has clearly entered into the Spirit of Things. "RAMMING SPEED!"

They scoot into the kitchen, and race through a door. A closed door. Cruiser and Bruiser unwisely attempt to follow. They don't have quite enough momentum, so they get smushed up into their helmets, which drop to the floor. Their talons emerge.

The Easter Tank is in a storage room filled with eggs. "Boy! This guy sure likes eggs," Dale observes.

Monty and the chipmunks have dismounted and are checking out the room.

"Looks like a dead end, Chipper me lad," Monty observes.

"We'll have to go back through the kitchen," Chip says.

The door is opened. Mr. Dumpty and Nog block their path. "Get away from those eggs!" Mr. Dumpty yells.

The boys glance briefly at one another. Talk about asking for it. They start hurling eggs at Mr. Dumpty and Nog, who start juggling them in an attempt to keep them from shattering. Dale wants to join the fun, so he grabs a tall stack of eggs.

"Come on, Dale," Chip cries, tugging at his friend. It sounds more like Gadget's voice - I think the sound processing glitched. This may be what Dale was planning. The stack of eggs begin to topple towards us. Gadget backs the Easter Tank into the chipmunks, and flips them into the basket. They roar past Dumpty and Nog, as eggs hit the linoleum. Cruiser and Bruiser stand , and are toppled like tenpins as the Easter Tank slams into them.

"Oh, those brutes!" Mrs. Booby cries.

"Birdhead, I say we take no prisoners," Cruiser says to Bruiser.

"Right on, dude. Waste them. Target coming up," says Bruiser.

Gadget's found a vacuum cleaner. The hawks should know better, but I guess they didn't see Aivars' web page. Soon the hawks are out of control and being sucked into the vacuum. The vacuum cleaner begins to swell. "Duck!" cries Chip, moments before the vacuum cleaner explodes, leaving a pathetic and entirely featherless Cruiser and Bruiser. They seem down for the count.

"I don't believe it," gasps Mrs. Booby. "We did it!"

"I don't care any more," Mr. Dumpty says. "I can get another booby, but you're not getting out of this house alive."

The Rangers and the boobies leap back into the Easter Tank. Nog blocks it skillfully with his feet. "Not this time," he says. Nog was probably a goalie.

Chip points at the thermostat. "Zipper! Up there! Turn up the heat!" Zipper throws the thermostat switch all the way over.

"Why is it so hot in here?" Mr. Dumpty asks Nog, as Nog helps him up.

"I don't know, sir..." a soft peeping is audible. One at a time, Mr. Dumpty's stolen eggs begin to hatch.

"Oh no... my eggs!" Mr. Dumpty races about, trying to force the chicks back into their shells. "No... get back, get back in there! My collection! It's ruined!"

The Easter Tank roars out and into the forest. "Head for the airport, Gadget," Chip orders. "We have a couple of boobies to get home."

"Oh, thank you," says Mrs. Booby. "You've been so good to me and my baby. Say... how do you boys feel about boobysitting?"

The Rangers register expressions of horror.

"Gadget love," Monty says softly, "I think you'd better step on it."

The Easter Tank roars out into the night.

***

The pacing of this episode is quite different from "Mind Your Cheese & Qs" and "Rest Home Rangers." The other two are extremely dialog intensive, verging on being radio scripts. "Three Men and a Booby" relies much more heavily on visuals, action, and reaction shots - some of the work done animating the character's expression has to be seen to be believed, but I can't keep saying "And then Gadget looks incredibly cute, while Dale looks goofy and confused and Chip regards Dale with disgust" over and over again. When writing the summaries for the other two, I was moving the tape in increments of ten to fifteen seconds; "Three Men and a Booby" has dialog-free sequences almost a minute long. While this makes it (in my opinion) a better use of the TV medium, it also means this summary's a bit shorter than the other two.

As we saw in "Rest Home Rangers", all eggs are fertilized and viable. In reality, egg collectors usually remove the contents of the egg and display the shell, to keep it from decaying. Ignoring this, probably the biggest overlooked plot point in this episode is what happened to all those poor motherless chicks. I would have had Kirby and Muldoon show up. Stealing the eggs from certain species in the wild is a serious Federal offence that would put Mr. Dumpty's patootie in prison for a good long time.

I'm calling it an "Easter Tank," but of course that's a misnomer; Gadget's vehicle is apparently neither armored nor fully enclosed.

When I first noticed Chip 'n' Dale's helmets, I assumed they were drawn differently in a glitch. I no longer think so - it looks like the animators were deliberately told to draw them wearing different helmet designs. Dale's Brodie Anti-Shrapnel Helmet was the first steel helmet adopted by the forces of the United Kingdom. It was in use by Britain and Commonwealth countries through most of World War I, through World War II, and up to the 1950s when it was replaced by the Mark 3. It is a wide, circular helmet when viewed from the top, with a brim that allows it to lay flat on a table. The United States used the Brodie through World War I, up to the massive armament buildup at the start of World War II, when the US began to use the M1 steel helmet. It has a rounder crown than the Brodie and comes down lower, with a slight flaring over the ears. It will not lay flat on a table, and its most popular feature was a detachable helmet liner which let you use it as a pot. It was replaced in the early 1980s by the Personal Armor System Ground Troops (PASGT) helmet in use today, which is made of Kevlar and resembles the flared German helmets of World War II. Originally unpopular because you can't cook in it, the PASGT was first in the invasion of Grenada when soldiers noticed it would actually deflect direct rifle hits, which steel helmets don't. This led to greater acceptance, and is why SWAT teams in armor closely resemble Darth Vader.

I have no idea why they put Chip and Dale in different helmets, but it makes you wonder. Perhaps they're wearing heirlooms and Dale's family's from England or Canada.

 

Rescue Rangers and all characters and episodes copyright the Walt Disney Corporation and used without permission.

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